Wowza!

I found this baby today. I was looking for the most expensive house I could find in the Twin Cities. I just stopped at this one because.....well, I really don't think there's one more expensive. And if there is? I don't really want to know.

Because this one? It's 53 million dollars, people. Yessiree! It sits on 12 acres of lakefront property and there are 7 structures on the site - including a tea house (hey - why not, right?) and a caretaker's cottage. There are 9 bedrooms and 16 bathrooms.....though I don't think those are all in the main house. Are you ready for the square footage and taxes?


32,461 square feet and the taxes on this bad-boy are $133, 638. Which really isn't that bad, when you think of it.


Unless I would have to pay them.


Then it would be tragic.


Are you ready?


There are only 8 pictures.......let's go!

Here's the aerial view. The house is in Orono, Minnesota.

There was a girl from Orono on my crew team in college. She was messed up, people. I wonder if she lived here? Because I've gotta believe if you grow up with all of this? Life would be pretty disappointing. I mean.....what on EARTH would ever impress or excite you?

Then again, Ivanka Trump seems pretty normal, right? I mean, I think she comes off as normal when we hang out. Ha. No. Really. I mean it. She's really, really nice.
You know what would be cool? You could always be alone in a house like this.

Which would explain why my teammate from Orono was so messed up, I guess. Well.....you'd have the Nanny, right? And the caretaker? And the chef?

And the gardener.

The courts are looking like they need attention. I'll have to alert the caretaker. Then I'm totally going to fire him.

Because caretakers aren't doing their job if the courts look like this, are they now?

No. They're not.

Ahhhhhh..... the library. This is the only room I need, people. Can't you just imagine holing up in here with a blankie, a pile of magazines and a laptop? You could fling open all of those french doors and read blogs all day long! Er......I mean read the classics! Just pull one down from one of those shelves over there! Yeah!

The living room. Cavernous, yes? Kind of looks like a funeral parlor. I must redecorate.

The gym is next. Half the fun of going to the gym is the people watching, though, isn't it? I guess we could hire people to work out so that I could watch them. There's always some old guy at the gym who doesn't believe in deodorant, so we'd have to hire someone who smells like chicken noodle soup to come in and work out. Because that's what that smelly guy at the gym always smells like, am I right?

Once? When I was working at a nameless, faceless food company, my friend Ann and I were discussing this. We were sitting with our pals, the Process Engineers (all men) one morning in the food labs talking about this very subject. The boys thought we were stupid. They said BO doesn't smell like chicken noodle soup. Five minutes later, one of our other co-workers came in from the pilot plant (a pilot plant is a mock-up of a larger scale food plant in an R&D facility) to complain about the temporary employee helping out there. He said that he had B.O. and smelled like French Onion soup. Close enough.

Anyway **shaking head really fast**, here's that gym:

And that's it! There weren't any more photos of the inside. No kitchen photos.....but it does state that the kitchen is 18x37 feet.

What do you think? Kim?

You Say Potay-to!

And so do I!

I mean, really. Who says Potah-to? And I mean it! Tell me if you know anyone, because I don't.

Okay. I've had an underwhelming response from those of you who want your cooking questions answered.

So here we go:

The first thing I was asked: How does one keep from getting lumpy mashed potatoes?




My initial thought on this is, "One goes to a fancy-schamanzy restaurant where they have a nice line-cook who makes mashed potatoes all day long." But that's not very helpful, is it?

And I say that because mine are always lumpy. Always.

Because I read in Cook's Illustrated magazine once that one should boil their potatoes whole with the peels still on so the potatoes don't get water-logged. But you know what happens? Impatient people like myself don't let them cook long enough because it takes for-evah for the potatoes to get done. And the rest of the dinner is waiting on the flippin' potatoes, am I right? Yes, I am. So I mash 'em before their time. Always.

So.

Here's my suggestion: Keep doin' what you're doin' (peel them, cut them into evenly-sized pieces), but just cook them a little longer. (By the way? MJ peels and quarters her potatoes.) The tines of a fork should easily slip into a potato piece when they're done. Then after you drain them (and do this immediately, don't let them sit in the hot water, because they will get water-logged)? Pop them back into the pan and place them over low heat and give 'em a little shake (or five). The goal here is to dry them out a little bit so they will be fluffier (vs. watery). And don't be afraid to do this. You won't burn them or anything.

And you know what? Don't stress out about this: they're potatoes for gawd's sake.

I personally could care less if there's a lump or two in my potatoes. And lumpy potatoes = I-cared-enough-to-peel-all-of-these-potatoes- and-NOT-serve-you-potato-flakes-from-a-box (Not that there's anything wrong with that, because I like those too, but you know what I mean, right?).

I've got to go and get ready for my Franklin. I want to look pretty for him.

Next up?
Gravy talk and a Trump-style house tour for Kim from Vintage Pretties. Because I heart Kim from Vintage Pretties. She's one of my oldest blogging pals.

I'm Working Today

But I just wanted to let you know that I will be answering those pesky cooking questions tomorrow. If you have a question, let me know.

I'm working with my pal MJ and we laugh all day long, so I'm loving life! And then? Sometimes we get to see our friend, Renae, who is awesome. I left my camera at the Garage Goumet's house, but some day I will try to take some pictures of my pals. You've already seen Kirsten (and Dave!).

Oh....I'm working on MJ to buy that house with the white kitchen


Remember that one?

I assured her that her life would change if she'd buy it.
There would be a new spring in her step.....her hair would be shinier, her teeth whiter and her breath would be minty fresh!

She just mumbled something about the square footage, the small city lot and the high price. Ever the realist.

I hate realists. They're so real.

Drama Queen

The Noodle has always been a drama queen.

In the hospital after she was born, I was sooo exhausted. I had been up for 2 days straight with a 21 hour labor (really, it was 20 1/2 hours, but after you have a baby you're allowed to round up. Am I right, ladies??). All I wanted to do was get a little sleep, so I gave my screaming infant to the nursery and tuckered in for a little shut-eye.

After a couple of hours I had to get up to use the bathroom (The ol' bladder is never the same after having a baby. Am I right, ladies??).

I glanced out my door to see a nurse craning her neck and wringing her hands while looking into my room. So I stop and go to the door while she scurries over to me and tells me that my Noodle hasn't stopped crying since she got into the nursery.......she needs her Mom. I guess they had intubated her to see if she still had some muconium in her tummy and checked to see if she had a broken clavicle because she cried to so much.

When we put her in a preschool-type daycare, I guess she was very quiet and good all day. Her teachers loved her. They'd tell me a little tidbit about her day. Then I'd take her home.

And she would act out the entire day in her playing after we got home.

Very dramatic.

And only if I wasn't looking.

So I'd make dinner and watch and listen, and then Zuddy would come home and watch and listen and we'd have an idea about what her day was like.

But only an idea.

Because sometimes she'd act out a scuffle or she'd rrreeeaaally be telling someone off. After one of those situations, we'd ask the teacher if she was being mean to so-and-so (Because I don't want to raise a brat, people). "Oh no!", they'd say, "she doesn't really fight back. No! It was so-and-so who was being mean!"

But she'd fight back at home!! She'd get it all out in her dramatic play. She'd let so-and-so have it when she got home, yessirree!

Well, she hasn't changed a bit. She still does the dramatic play with her dolls and stuffed animals.

Last night, I was on the computer and Zuddy was sitting on the sofa watching the Noodle play on the front steps. He came into the office/playroom looking at me with a stunned expression - you know - big eyes, gaping mouth?
Then he knelt down beside me and told me that my daughter just gave birth on the front steps.

I guess it was pretty quick, but a little noisy.

She had a Webkinz Panda.

House Tour!

Oooooo. I'm soooooo crabby today.

My house is a mess.
I can't get on sitemeter.
I need to go to the grocery store.
I need to make a meal plan so I know what to buy at the grocery store.
I'm gonna get in trouble from Amy for not going to church on Sunday.

So you know what I'm doing about all of this?
That's right.
I'm going to waste precious, precious time looking for a house I love but can't afford.
So I can lust after it.
Then?
I'm going waste more time waiting for blogger to upload the pictures of the house I love but can't afford, therefore eating up my housecleaning-mealplanning-groceryshopping time.
Good plan, huh?
MmmmmmHmmmmm.

Here she is, folks. In my absolute favorite neighborhood. If I lived here? I could walk to the grocery store.
And I would, too.
Even though it's a grocery store that drives me NUTS.
Because the people who shop there?
While they live in million dollar houses?
They're embracing their earth-mother-hippie side and not bathing on a regular basis.
I kid you not. I smell dirty hair on fellow shoppers every time I shop here.
Which is hardly ever because of the aforementioned smelly dirty hair issue.
I could go on and on about stinkiness, but I won't.
Because I want to show you my new house.
Well, really, it's not.
Because I married for love, not money.

Okay. Really. Here it is:

I know. It doesn't look all that exciting on the outside. It needs a fun paint job, no?

But look at the fireplace with the sweet little cabinets on each side of it. Isn't this a warm, soothing room?

Zuddy would like this garage. He'd like it much bigger, though.

Aaaaahhhhhh. Do you see the soapstone? Do you? I heart soapstone.
Yeah, I know. I probably wouldn't have picked these cabinets, either, but I think I could live with them. Because look at that door!!!! I love it!
Do you think they swapped out the appliances before they put the house on the market? That range kind of clashes with the pot filler, doesn't it?

This is the third floor Master Bedroom.

And the sweet little tubbie. Too bad I'm not a bath person.

Tour over. What do you think?

@#$%!

ARGH!!!!

Why are my Christmas tree lights hatin' on me??

I've really been looking forward to this weekend. I love Thanksgiving dinner. LOVE it. Zuddy leaves town after dinner every year to spend time with his Dad and some other manly-men shooting poor, defenseless clay pigeons and Noodle and I decorate the tree and listen to Holiday music.

We had the perfect Thanksgiving. GG's turkey was AMAZING, as usual. The gravy? To die for.
TO.
DIE.
FOR.
Zuddy just ate gravy.
Just enough wine to make it interesting, but not boozy. It was super dark brown and flavorful. And I'm pretty sure it took 2 days to make.

After eating, we watched the kids sing High School Musical songs on their new Wii system. Soooo cute! Even Sweet Angel, who doesn't know the words. We sang loudly with her and she loved it!

Then? Our new tradition is to go to a movie. We saw Enchanted. I was excited to go see a movie, but I was thinking I wouldn't like this one.

Boy, was I wrong! It was a really fun little movie! Amy Adams is perfect in it.

Then, Noodle and I went home. Zuddy had already left, so Noodle and I make it our tradition to put up the tree on Friday morning.

This is where things went awry, people.

I thought I was soooo smart for putting the tree away last year with the lights still attached! So Smart **pat-pat on my back**. I just took the whole tree, still set up and put it away in the storage closet. Boy, am I brilliant!

So yesterday morning, when I brought out the tree and plugged the lights in, SOME of the them wouldn't work.
Long story short? Noodle decorated part of the tree, while I struggled with the lights, eventually taking most of them off.
I was SEETHING inside.
And I hadn't showered or changed out of my stinky jammies. Or brushed my fuzzy teeth.
All I could do was think all sorts of bad, bad words inside my head while listening to Harry Connick Jr. croon Holiday songs in the background.

And the Noodle, in all her Drama-Queen glory, was dancing around the living room like Amy Adams in Enchanted. Only she's not at the ball, people. Our living room is now littered with fake pine needles, foam packing peanuts clinging to every surface and broken ornaments everywhere.
Eventually I shut down the whole operation and we took a nap. When we woke up, I showered, we went to Target for more lights (of course I didn't buy enough. I still need more), got a festive dinner of Taco Bell and I fixed the tree: took off all the ornaments, re-lighted the tree and put the ornaments back on.
We skipped the Holidazzle Parade and went to bed after watching the 20/20 show on the Guinness Book of World Records. Did you all see that?
Probably not. I'll bet you all have a life out there, huh? The lady with the longest fingernails really skeeved me out.

So. It wasn't the festive day of decorating that I envisioned.

In fact, I told the Noodle if she ever plays with packing peanuts again, I will sell her and all of her belongings to the gypsies.

Happy *&^%$@ Holidays!

MJ and Martha

So, I have this friend, MJ.

We met about.....10-12 years ago when we were both working for this guy:

Yeah, I know. He looks so sweet and happy. Really, he was kind of a creep to work for. He swears a lot and then kind of laughs about it.

Anyway, so we're working for him. MJ comes from Iowa. All we knew about her was that she grew up on a farm and she has a degree from Iowa State (Which, if you know anything about the food biz, you'll know about Iowa State. Big food school.). I think she has a food science degree? I can never remember.

Anyway, she had just moved from Iowa with her 2 lovely children and was about to get married to Michael. She was nice enough. Friendly. Knew what she was doing, but not obnoxious or showy about it. And you know how maybe there's someone new at work and you're maybe trying to assess their skill level? And you decide they're good and smart, so they're okay, but then they give of themselves little by little and you find out they're so amazing and you realize while you actually thought they were just fine, you now realize you're looking at total GREATNESS???

That's MJ, my friends. And she downplays every amazing thing that she knows and does. Like the time at work when it was someone's birthday and we all gathered around the birthday person to sing? Mary Jane's voice is carrying the whole thing and people within ear shot are running from all over the office to find out, who is that singing??? I mean, she has the voice of an angel! Then she shakes her head, dismisses all the compliments on her voice with a wave of her hand, and says she was an opera singer as a child.

Oh, and she sang the Roto-Rooter jingle in the commercial. So, I guess you could say she's a professional singer, too.

Anyway. That's SUCH a tiny bit of background about her. There is so much more. SO MUCH MORE. The craziest things happen to her. Like a couple of weeks ago when she was in the car, listening to the Martha Stewart radio channel on Sirius Radio.

We don't have Sirius Radio, so I've never heard the show, but I guess there's a spot on the Martha Stewart Channel where the announcer gives the listeners a few ingredients and the listeners need to call in with a recipe idea. So the announcer gives these ingredients: pears, vanilla and bourbon.

Now. If you're gonna give MJ an ingredient, give her the bourbon. She loves the bourbon. She grows mint in her garden specifically for Mint Juleps during the Kentucky Derby.

So, of course, MJ calls in with a recipe idea. Now, if I would've called in with a recipe idea, I would've gotten a busy signal.

But MJ doesn't, no SIR.

They answer her call and are blown away with her recipe.

Because after, oooohhhhh..........three seconds of thought, she comes up with: "Pears poached in a burnt sugar-vanilla-infused syrup, chilled and served with a hot bittersweet ganache spiked with a healthy shot of bourbon".
They ask her if she's a chef (she's not), so she wins two tickets to the Fancy Food Show in New York City.
She and my dear friend, Kirst went last weekend!!! How cool is that? They had a ball. They stayed in a nice hotel and laughed for 3 days straight.

I wasn't going to show this, but....what the heck, right? I get an email from MJ with the title "Dinner In Little Italy".

I'm thinking, "Ooooo! They ran into someone famous in Little Italy!" I open the mail and there is a photo attachment.

The photo attachement is titled, "Kirsten and Dave"

Oooo! I click on it on wait for the download, thinking, "who is a famous person named Dave.............who is a famous David?"

Ooooooohhhhh. That Dave!

Look at her sweet smile, huh?

This picture isn't going to stay up for long. I will remove it, I swear. I just thought you'd like to meet Kirsten......and, er, little Dave.

I'm Thankful.

So many things to be thankful for.....I want everyone reading this to think of at least one thing, right.......NOW!

Right now I'm thankful for my friends and family and my good HEALTH, right, Lisa? Woo Hoo!!!! Good Health!!!

So Amy asked me for some Holiday Cooking tips and ideas. Wow. THAT'S a loaded question, my friend :)

So anyone needing help in that area can ask me. Just click on the comments with your question.

There's a nice little (huge) store (red and white) with a little promotional area behind their carts.
There are some recipes there. You might like them. I might have developed some of them.

There's a scalloped corn recipe there that's strikingly similar to one we always have on Turkey Day. How did it get THERE?

Little background on that one: My Mom? Likes to assign her children to bring things like....rolls.....or wine....or a "nice salad" to traditional family meals. The Aunts get to bring all the dishes central to the Holiday Tradition. Like....oh....... like, scalloped corn. We actually call it "corn pudding".
One CRAZY year I was given the corn pudding to make AND the rolls and butter. I don't know why. My mom must have been OUT OF HER HEAD. She gave me a recipe cut out of a newspaper from 1958 and asked me to make it.
Oh, I made it all right. But I added green onions and sour cream with onions and chives. Someone was a little surprised when they saw those green specks. She said, "What's IN here?" And how could her kid screw up the flippin' butter??? It's a no brainer. You go to the store and buy butter for gawd's sake!! I added chopped herbs. Basil, parsley and chives. Blasphemy!!!!!!
Well, the family liked the changes. It was a special, special day. Aunt Jacquie loved the herb butter. My mom declared it, "grassy".
Whatever.

Anyway. Tomorrow we are going to the Garage Gourmet's house for Thanksgiving. I love the Garage Gourmet. He makes a FAB-U Turkey, my friends. It's briney-licious and he stuffs the cavity with apples, veggies...all sorts of things. I only got a quick look once as he was carving.
Then he YELLED at me to get out of his kitchen.
See, our family? We're yellers. I'm trying to break the cycle here at Elizabeth Hill, because Zuddy's family is passive aggressive (also so much fun). But The GG? He looks like a mild-mannered-good-natured executive. Always a smile on his handsome face. People love him because he makes anyone feel at ease.
But the dude is a YELLER. It's a recessive gene from my Dad's side.
I'm lying here. It's a dominant gene. Only unearthing itself at large family events.
But I can take the yelling. Because his turkey? ROCKS.

Okay...enough of that. I have a date with Schmackie tonight. Schmackie and Louie spent the night here last night. Tonight, we'll send Noodle and Louie over to the GG's house. And then Schmackie and I will go to Grand Slam and play video games, hit some baseballs, and play some mini-golf. I can't wait!!! Last year we walked to the Science Museum. We had a ball. So this is our second year Schmackie-Martha Extravaganza.

So, if you have any cooking questions, just ask. I'd be happy to help you if I can. Which brings me to tomorrow's topic: MJ and The Cooking Challenge on the Martha Stewart Sirius Radio Show.

House Tour!!!

Woo Hoo!!!!!

I have to make this a quick one, because I have to work in a little bit, but here's a beauty. It's much larger than the ones I usually show you, but I love the kitchen.

The entry way is great, huh? My dear friend, Hilary has an entry way similar to this one.

Here it is, friends. The perfect little dream kitchen. Didn't they do a nice job on it?

Hell-ll0000 GORGEOUS! What a big fridge you have! Oooo. That sounded kind of dirty, huh?

Love that Chandelier in the master......
And that's it!


Oh - also, I can't remember who said they loved the houses for sale in my neighborhood, but this one is NOT in my neighborhood. It's a much more desirable, more expensive neighborhood a couple of miles away. Only that first house I showed you was in my 'hood.

I hope you all have a great day!!

Whew!

We had quite the weekend over here, people!

First of all, I had a night (Friday) with the Girls. It was fun and Sal and I got into an argument about the Jello twins. Have you heard of them? Orangejello and Lemonjello?

Sal read about them in the book Freakonomics. I told her it was an Urban Myth (or legend....whatever) because Zuddy and I got tricked with that one once. And she said it was true because she read it in a book. Which made me laugh harder. Because, you know, everything you read in a book is totally factual. And then it made Sal more irritated. Sorry Sally Gally. I didn't mean to contradict.

That's when I decided It was in order to post those 7 things to poke a little fun at myself. So I hope Sal reads it. And, of course, when the girls get together, we always talk about religion. Which made me think of my irrational fear of Churches, because that night I vowed to Amy that Noodle and I are going this Sunday (as in the one coming up. Which, if you know me, you'll know this is my little way of putting it off.)

Have you ever seen that commercial where this guy is delegating portions of a project to his office team? And he tells one guy that he's in charge of talking a big game and then not following through? To which the guy replies, "Let's do it!" Yeah. That's me, internets.

Anyway, then we had a wedding on Saturday. My cousin Katie's. Which we skipped. It was one of those wedding a 2pm and the reception is at 5pm thingies. We just went to the reception. And who should be there, but little Franklin!

Here he is with his Daddy, Richard. Richard is soooooo funny that I think I wet my pants thrice while he was being his funny self. Not only that, but my throat hurt from screaming with laughter.

And here is the beautiful and waaaayyyy too intelligent Claire, Franklin's Mommy and my cousin. Claire uses a lot of words I nod at while we're in a conversation and then when I'm alone?

I look them up in the dictionary.

Claire also caught me trying to feed Franklin some wedding cake. She looked at me with an evil eye and said, "Are you feeding him refined sugar?"
No. Because Franklin could tell by the looks of that wedding cake that it had high fructose corn syrup in it. And he wasn't having any of that. He told me he likes a niiice French buttercream. Yeppers.

Then Sunday? I ripped off a little wallpaper and we had to go to a birthday party at Zuddy's sister's house.

Which I tried to get out of. But Zuddy wouldn't let me.

So I planted myself near my Brother in law Dan and his brother Jim and Jim's wife Angie. Because I heart them. You know what Jim did on Saturday? He went to Iowa (I think) and ran a 7 mile race in the woods!!!! Up big slippery hills and through cold wet little creeks.....Kind of reminds me of Penny!

You know what? I want to do that!! I told Zuddy we should do that together. And he didn't say no! He tried one of his old suits on before the wedding reception on Saturday and he looked like Baby Huey in it. And I look like baby Huey in everything. Here's a picture of us at the wedding.

So you never know. Maybe next year we'll run that race. Let's do it! Ha ha. That's me talkin' my big game!!

So that's it!!! That was our weekend! It was fun. I hope you all had a great weekend!!!

It's All About ME, People!

I was thinking about 7 things meme. And you know what?

This blog started with the kitchen. I'm not sure the kitchen will ever end.

But it's also about ME.
ME ME ME *stomping foot*!
And if it's not about me? I'll make it about me.
Like when my friend got divorced? I beautifully turned that one around into my own mini midlife crisis, did you catch that? Huh?

So if you're reading this? Don't you DARE click away.
You're stuck.
You have to read these 7 things about ME!! **evil laugh while I'm wringing my hands**
And dammit!? Why should I stop at seven? I might sneak another one in there just to torture whoever has the bad sense to read this!!

Okay, here it goes:

1. When we got married, Zuddy and I decided we weren't going to have children. Then? My girlfriend had twins.
Really really cute ones.
We went over to their house to celebrate their first birthday and thought we needed one of those.
So we thought we'd try.
We tried once.
Then we thought, "Oooo. Let's not try that again. We're not ready yet. Maybe in another year." But the damage had been done, friends. We were in such shock that we didn't talk about it for a couple of days after we found out. Then we were thrilled.
I truly believe it was Divine intervention. We probably wouldn't have tried again because it never would've been "the right time" for us. And I have to tell you: we've never had another pregnancy scare. Not one. We tried once, got pregnant and the rest is Noodly!

2. I'm very hormonal. Pregnancy and nursing made me a crazy-woman. When I was preggers with Noodle, Zuddy would say something to make me laugh and then I'd laugh so hard that I'd cry. But then something would happen and I'd really start crying! Like I was sad! The first couple of times Zuddy would get so concerned and wonder what was going on. I'd just shake my head, blubbering, and say, "I'm not sad! I'm really not, but I can't stop crying!!" After a while it became an entertainment thing and he'd crack up. It only happened when I was pregnant. Never again.

3. I'm a real potty-mouth behind the wheel of my car. Especially on the highway. If the Noodle is with me, I'm pretty good at keeping it at clean words: like MORON! or, IDIOT! or Come ON GRANDPA!
Oh. What? You say those aren't clean, either?
Oh. Sorry.

4. Zuddy shaves his head. When we met? He had long hair. Then a year or two after we got married, he got it cut. He's been shaving his head for a while now, but he's not exactly a metro sexual: it gets too long and looks awful so I start harping on him to groom himself. Then he takes Noodle into the garage and lets her shave his head. They'll plan on a style together and he'll wear it in public for a week or so. Last time it was a Mohawk. This time? The "Dr. Phil". He wears a hat most of the time, but when he takes it off I crack up!!! And then we sit there and look at each other laughing. He's been saying some Dr. Phil-isms all week. Like: "How's that workin' for ya?"

5. I'm not a big fan of organized religion. It's taken me a long time to realize this and then admit it without shame. As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I'm very spiritual, but church turns me off. I took a bunch of theology classes in college and I loved them at first, when the classes concentrated on the overview and histories of the different religions, but then they went and got all, "Here's what xxx religion believes, but they're WRONG!"
I've been wanting to attend a church for the sake of the Noodle, to give her some religious background, but I'm having a really hard time getting there. I'm way too liberal for many churches, but too uptight for the really liberal ones. My dear friend Amy is nudging me to try her church. My other dear friend, Hilary, just joined Amy's church and she thinks I'd like it, too. The Noodle and I are going next week. Zuddy will never go. He has very good reason not to, but that's his story to tell.

6. I was buying cat food at Petco the other day. There was a total "crazy cat lady"-type directly in front of me in the checkout line. She had a cartful of cat crap and some cat-eye style glasses on. A million cans of food. Three HUGE bags of kitty litter. I was getting all judgy on her and thinking about how she's probably going home to cats walking on every table and countertop and she probably pops open a can of Fancy Feast for herself and eats it in front of the tv while watching the Cat Channel.
Then I came home, lugging my 20# bag of "Science Diet Indoor Cat Formula for Mature Cats age 7 +" and told Zuddy about how crazy she was. And it seemed like he was smirking at me. Maybe it was because I was telling him the story between kissing the cats on the lips.
But that's okay, right?
Right.

7. The Noodle wrote a letter to Santa the other day. I have no idea what the letter says because it's already in a sealed envelope. She gave the envelope to me so I would mail it for her and it seemed a little heavy. So I was playing touchy-feely with the envelope and then I shook it and realized that there's some money in there - like quarters or something. She's paying Santa off, people!
I gave the envelope to Zuddy because he usually does the mailing for us at work. I can't wait until he opens it!! I'll let you know if there's anything good in there!

Okay! I get to tag some people! And you HAVE to do it. Even if you've done it before!! I'm tagging my new best friend, Cutzi, The Garage Gourmet (Again. And he'd better do it this time), and Kari, who made the fatal mistake of commenting on my psycho blog-stalker post yesterday.

7 Things Meme

Oh boy.

Lisa at one of my new favorite blogs, Take 90 West has tagged me for a meme. 7 random things. I did this once. Should I do it again? Do you all really care? I mean, I LOVE reading other people's memes, but I'm not sure if what I have to say is all that interesting......

Oh! Speaking of Lisa and her fab-u blog, I have soooooo many new favorites that I want to share with you. I'm a blogaholic and I need to update my blogroll. I will do it this weekend, I swear. And if you know I read your blog and you don't want any bloggy love from me, please let me know.

You know why I say this? Because I once gave bloggy love to someone and a few months later made her blog private and I'm not on her list! I was crushed!! It made me feel like a total loser! And I just loved her blog - she had this great sense of humor. Probably still does.....but how would I know that? Oh gosh. Do you think she thinks I was a stalker? I only commented on her blog once! Seriously. Any of my blogging pals can attest to the fact that I'm a very normal person.
I think.
Oh my gosh. Maybe I am crazy!
Maybe I'm a crazy blog stalker!
I do check them every day....after I return emails I check them all in a certain order. That's crazy behavior, right?
Gasp! Yikes!

Here's Another One!

Want to go on another house tour?

Okay! Let's go!


Will ya look at the outside of this little cutie?
I can just see all sorts of front-porch-decorating-fun.
Here's the best part:
3 car garage, Zuddy.
(Almost) Unheard of in the city.

I've got to tell you, though: The outside is the best part of this house. Because wait until you see this tragedy:

Hello? HEL -LO??!?
This kitchen is all wrong for this house!!!!
I want to push my way in there and gut it.
It's just not right, my friends, it's just not right. I think this house was probably remodeled in the late '80's or early 90's. Because the woodwork doesn't look original to me, either.

And you know what? It's so wrong that now I don't want to bother with the rest of the house. So that's the end of THAT tour.

Let's go on to another kitchen that I love.......The rest of the photos of the house weren't that great. And I couldn't get them to size up to normal (long story), but here's the kitchen:


Dang, that's cute, huh? But there's a problem: This kitchen is the same size as mine. And you know what they did about the fridge? Do you see the breakfast bar area? There's a countertop on the other side where there are 4 refrigerator/freezer drawers. This picture is going to be insanely small, but here they are:

I don't really like that, do you?
Can you even see it? No? Oh, sorry.
Here's the sunroom:

So, these are the only good pictures I can show you. The rest of them are maddingly small, like the refrigeration drawers.

Oh! One thing I forgot to mention: The Noodle and I went antiquing on Friday. She had the day off of school. She's been taking a lot of pictures and has decided that she wants to be a "catagrapher".

To which, I said, "You mean: photographer?"

And she replied, "Yes, but I call it a catagrapher."

I could never homeschool this kid. She thinks I'm a complete idiot.

Anyway, here is her photo of the day:

Happy Birthday Louie!

She's eight!!! I can't believe it! And her party is today.
This is Louie. My oldest brother's little one.
She's into Webkinz, American Girl dolls, horses and a lot more.....she's a beautiful little monkey and she keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.


The Noodle idolizes her (they were born 6 months apart).

Schmackie is her big brother:

He's 10 now!!!! He just had his birthday in October. He is the best little athlete....he is a very good sport and has a great sense of humor. He looks just like my brother; when he was talking to me today I was watching his mouth movements and I noticed he was pursing his lips and moving his mouth to the side of his face, just like his daddy.

Schmackie is soooooo good to Sweet Angel:



Who is extra-cute her own self!

And almost as sweet as my beautiful Noodle:


I love my family.

All of these photos are taken by Olivia Wagner.
And by the way? The kids were awful that day. Hard to tell from these photos, huh?

Cutzi Wins!!!

Yay Cutzi!!!!

Yep! That darn phone hopped up in the fridge and snuggled behind that pitcher.....how else could it have gotten there?

'Cause I would just never accidentally leave it in there.

Just like I would never try to heat something (like a cup of coffee) up in the cupboard, instead of the microwave. Never.
Twice.
My cup and then Zuddy's cup.
The thing is? With mine? I put the cup in the cupboard, closed the door and waited.
Like it was heating up in there.
Except there was no beep telling me the coffee was hot.
Then I kind of laughed at myself, rolled my eyes and did again 2 hours later when I was heating up Zuddy's.
Zuddy was watching me do it and said, "Niiiiice."

So Cutzi, my friend, send me an email with your address and I will mail you your prize!!!

Franklin says, "Thanks for playing to the FIVE people who played"

Exciting Contest, People!

I think it's going to be a toughie, though.

Because you are going to have to EARN the prize, oh internet friends.

Yes, you are! And you thought, "Oh! I'm just going to enter my name because that's good enough..." Lalalalalala.

Nope.

I'll tell you the challenge in a minute, though. First, lets look at the prize, shall we?
Okay! Let's scroll down a bit.

It's this lovely paper towel holder from Ballard Designs!! Yes!

But it's a little different than the picture shown here. It's a rust color and has a solid-style fleur-de-lis like so:

So there you have it! That's the prize!

Now.

Here's the challenge:

I'm going to show you a picture of the inside of my fridge.

Because something is not right in there, internets, something is just not right! And please don't say there's a lack of fatty meats (Note to Zuddy: I know you're thinking it!!! Don't say it!). And don't mention the overflow of condiments, because I've cleaned them out recently, people. Hazard of my job: one gets to be a condiment slut without even trying.

Here's a picture.

As always, click on the picture to enlarge it. The first person who sees what's wrong with the fridge gets the prize. If nobody guesses correctly? I'll give a hint and we'll try again tomorrow.

Good luck!