Creepy Pete

Okay, you can REALLY tell I have nothing to say.

So I'm going to talk about Creepy Pete.

Who is Creepy Pete, you ask? Well he (or she) is not just one person. Creepy Pete is a Zuddy-ism for anyone with a creepy look or demeanor. So when Zuddy talks about "Creepy Pete" it could be anyone.

Anyone at all.

Last night Zuddy went out to run a couple of errands. I asked him to go to our neighborhood grocery store and buy some waffles for the Noodle. When he came back from the store he said he ran into "Creepy Pete" at the store. I instantly knew who he was talking about: our neighbor. Let's call him "Thompson".

So I say, "Who? Thompson?"
Zuddy, "Yep."
Pause
Then we both start laughing. Because I know him sooooo freaking well that I always know specifically who he's talking about, even when he's using a Zuddyism.

That, my friends, is the beauty of a close personal connection with another human being, isn't it?

Do you have any "isms" at your house?

Must Be Rough......

Somebody is sick - I think.

On Monday, I knew she was. She had a fever and sore throat.

Today? I'm not so sure.....she's been putting on a good show though, so I think we will take her to Dr. Beth for a throat culture.

Check out that SA-WEET bedhead, people :) And you know what she's doing? Watching that TV I won from Lisa!


I don't have a cable hook-up for it in the kitchen (or anywhere else besides the living room), so we hooked it up to a dvd player I got from my mom and now she can watch DVD's and we don't have to suffer! And we can totally ignore her.
Which is why we had her in the first place.
Well, you know, to ignore her and make her serve us.

Speaking of the Noodle....She and Zuddy went camping for two nights last weekend. And Zuddy happened to take all of 4 pictures. Sheesh. He's as bad as me, dudes! At least he captured her first Jiffy Pop experience:



Okay....I think I've made it clear that I have nothing to say today.

Except this: I'm sure you all saw that Tom Cruise Scientology video, right? Well, did you happen to see the Jerry O'Connell spoof of it?
Hilarious, people. Jerry O'Connell is a hoot.
That's right....you heard me: A HOOT . Check it out.

Hi Friends! Thanks for all of the emails and comments! I'm back, I'm back....if I haven't emailed you back, it's only because:
a.) I've been lazy.
b.) I don't have your direct email address.

Noodle didn't have school last Monday and Tuesday so she had a marathon play date with one of the Sparkplugs which morphed into a sleep-over........so no blogging because I didn't have complete control of the office/playroom.
Then, last Tuesday, I met my old pal Mary at a popular children's book store for an infant/toddler story time. I had Franklin that day, so I thought he'd like it.

Dudes.

I'm not going into detail (like MJ would like me to do....) but let me tell you.....Sarah? The story-time person? Is a ROCK STAR to the toddler set. The place was dangerously packed. And let me just make the story of this horrible day shorter by telling you that:

a.) There was a terrible mob at the end of the performance. Horrible. Toddlers were everywhere. Some of the Moms were chatting and ignoring their toddlers.

b.) One of the toddlers got trampled. That's right. TRAMPLED.

c.) I was the one who trampled said toddler. It was me. I'm seriously trying to block this out of my normally blessedly-short memory.

The toddler was fine (I hope...she got trampled by the lady in back of me, too). We escaped the mayhem only to find my dear friend Mary outside with no coat on: she found her little guy on the street, window shopping for very expensive rugs.
Ha.
No. Really, he just ran out of the place and Mary couldn't get to him because of the mob. It was crazy!! And very cold outside.

But it was stifling hot in the book store, so I grabbed all of our coats and Franklin's diaper bag, put Franklin in his sling on my right hip, and we trudged through the mucky parking lot to the car (after trampling the toddler).......where I stepped in a pothole and twisted my ankle, falling in the black, slushy muck of the parking lot. I fell on my left arm, shielding Franklin's noggin from hitting the pavement, but I had black mud all over me. My blue polar fleece shirt has tar embedded in the left elbow that I can't seem to get out. My coat was full of the mud, as were my pants, and Franklin's adorable fair aisle coat. Claire is too nice to say anything, but I'm sure it's ruined. When I got home and changed my pants, even my undies were full of the mud from the parking lot!

Meanwhile, Noodle keeps saying, "Oooooo. That had to hurt!" over and over again....... which was really bugging me, but Sparkplug eventually told her to stifle it, which was nice. That Sparkplug knows when to be silent, you know?

Anyway, that's my story.

It was nothing serious....but I didn't sleep well on Tuesday night and I realized in the middle of the night that I actually hurt both ankles... but by morning it was okay....I mean, I could still do stuff. So I just went about my business on Wednesday, limping around, scrubbing all of the hardwood floors in the house and cleaning as normal. By Wednesday night? My foot was throbbing and swollen and I was miserable. I totally learned my lesson and stayed off of it for the next 2 days and over the weekend and it's getting sooooo much better.

And Zuddy even took Noodle camping for the weekend, so I had no demands on me for 2 whole days!! It had been planned for a month, but it couldn't have fallen (Heh.) on a better weekend, huh?

Oh! Guess what else? My friend Holly came over on Friday with her her sweet little 2 year old! I should've gotten a picture of her adorable little face. Well, next time I will.....but anyway, I told Holly about the story- time fiasco, and she said she went to that story time once and never went again because of all of the people. Anyway, Holly is cooler than ever, and I'm going start showing up at her house so we can hang together :) Check out the link to Holly, so you can see how I ran into her last year at the grocery store. She has 4 kids, so she's busy, but if I push myself on her, she'll hang with me. Ha haaaaa!

Well, you know what time it is? I do believe it's time for a house tour! This one is in the Merriam Park area of Saint Paul and I want it. NOW. I don't think we will ever move, but if we do? It will be to a house that is within walking distance to a grocery store and other shops. That is my goal. More urban-type living.

Anyway, this one is near the grocery store for people who don't wash their hair often enough. Don't worry, though, I'm not one for succumbing to peer pressure, so I will always be sportin' freshly washed hair. Or, at the very least? Hair that doesn't smell unwashed. Anyhoo.....This is a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with 1,700 square feet. It's $339,900.
And I want it.
Like, NOW.

The living room. Cute. It's 18x15 feet.
This is the other half of the living room, looking into the dining room and sun room. Here's that sunroom. Let's blog here, okay? Okay! The bathroom upstairs. Love it.
The kitchen. I don't love it. I mean, I like the black and white thang they have going on, but having the sink over there with so little counterspace is a no-no. Why didn't they call me for a consult? Huh?

Because I would've pushed them out the door and changed the locks and hijacked the house. THAT's why!
See, I would've removed that radiator and kept the counters going, my friends. Oh yes I would've. And then I would've either put the fridge where the picture is, or flip-flopped the sink and the range. Or both.
Look at this basement! Isn't that nice? I love the colored concrete floors!
This is one of the bedrooms. It's in the basment along with one of the bathrooms. I'd fix it up real cozy-like for when you come and stay with me. I would. Totally. Only the best for my internets, right? RIGHT.

That's it! What do you think? I think it's stalk-able. I think I may stalk it on the way to the grocery store today.

MJ's Meme Answers

Hey there!

Remember my friend, MJ? Here's her list!

1. 4 jobs I have had...Worst jobs really is the way to go. I could go on and on with stories about each of these jobs. I’ll try to keep it short. In no particular order:
Hot Air Balloon Chase Crew—actually this was kind of fun. You would crew very early every morning and at dusk, when the winds were calmest. We’d put the balloon up, then jump in the open back of a pick up truck and drive over miles of dusty dirty country roads following it. Only one pilot I worked for in 3 years of crewing had a walkie talkie. When the balloon would land we’d run out and pull the envelope (the balloon part) down by the seams, brush the grasshoppers off and stuff it back into a bag. They liked locals to help navigate the roads but I wasn’t too much help there. I got to fly sometimes to help navigate. That was the best. On the navigators map some farms had a big red X over them meaning you couldn’t land there. One friendly farmer liked to shoot warning shots into the air if you got too close.
Corn Detassler—arrive in the field before sunrise. Cold dew runs off the corn soaking your clothes. Feet pick up 5 pounds of mud. Sun comes up steaming you in your wet clothes. Corn leaves are like razors and cut you up with a million little paper cuts. Foreman is a jerk and makes you redo your row because he found too many missed tassels. I lasted one day.
Catering Director of a little hotel, now out of business.-We were woefully understaffed and under-equipped but I didn’t know any better. The crabby chef cooked and I did everything else. Very physical work with no carts at all and I was preggers. Can you imagine catering a lunch for 100 and carrying everything by hand into the room on the other end of the building? I went on maternity leave and came back to find someone else’s business cards in my desk. Apparently I couldn’t type fast enough for the reservation part of my job and they gave the catering job to the chef and the head waitress. I went home to my new baby in the new apartment we couldn’t afford and cried. Then my husband left me and I moved home with Mom and Dad. Dark days.
Farm Work for my dad—As the youngest child, when my brothers all grew up and left, I got to pick up the farm work slack. Dad didn’t seem to notice I was a girl. Some fun jobs I remember—Baling Hay: throwing bales from the field up onto the rack then stacking said bales in a dirty-dust-filled-stifling-hot barn loft. You had to wear long sleeves and jeans or your arms would be ripped to shreds. Cows: Castrating calves: yum! The doggies love those testicles. pulling calves (if you don’t know what this is, trust me, it’s awful) doctoring calves (one died in my arms-sniff), and dumb cows that decide to drop their calves in stupid places (like right next to a flooding creek). In the spring the fresh grass gives the cows diarrhea and makes herding them through tall grass extra fun. Dealing with foundered cows (cows so gassy from fresh food that their stomachs could burst. You have to poke a cut off garden hose lubed with cooking oil down their throat and try to find the right stomach then pour 7-Up down the hose to make them burp). Building fence is fun. I once knocked myself out while attempting to pound in a fence post. The best part about all this, is this was my dad’s hobby. He ran the frickin’ utility company in our state!
2. 4 movies I would watch over and over again
Best in Show
Star Wars Movies (yes, I’m a geek)
Gone With the Wind (Don’t we all kin
Local Hero
3. 4 places I have lived...:
Small town Minnesota
Indianola, Iowa
Des Moines, Iowa
Ames, Iowa
4. 4 people who email daily.....
Work—I work mostly at home. How boring.
5. 4 favorite things to eat.........
Cheeseburgers or grilled rib eye steaks
hot bread with good butter or really stinky cheese or both
really good milk chocolate with or without hazelnuts
stuff eaten while I’m barefoot in my garden—a really good tomato, a couple of peas, some green beans, radishes washed with the garden hose, some “volunteer” lettuce late in the fall or way too early in the spring, sprigs of herbs.
6. 4 places I would rather be....
on beach with gorgeous warm water lapping at my toes
Traveling anyplace new with my friends
Snuggling with my sweetie in the morning
At my folks cabin on the deck with a good book in the fall
7. 4 things I look forward to this year....
Kitchen redo
Summer on the lake
Taking my peeps to Beech Lake
Getting more organized
8. 4 people I will tag... Not gonna tag! I already bugged people with a list thing recently.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (And YOU!)

'Cause it's all about me, people, and don't you dare forget it.

I've been getting a couple of these babies lately - one from MJ through email and this one from my buddy, Gail, from The Tattered Nest. This is the one from Gail:

I am to answer these four questions about myself...
1. 4 jobs I have had...
Just four?? Dude. I've had soooooo many jobs! I'll pick out the ones I liked the least:

• "Marketing Assistant" for American Oats, Inc. They make a product called "Oatscream". It was a dairy-free ice cream. I got this little job right out of college (or was I still in college?). I hated it. I left one day and just never came back.
• "Dietician's Intern" for Shriner's Hospital. Did you see those quotation marks? They mean something. Because while that was my job title? I was actually a dishwasher. Oh yes I was. Four of us from my dietetics program at my college were referred by one of our professors for this job. I was the last idiot standing. The other girls wised up immediately and quit.
• Nanny for an abusive family in New Jersey. I lasted a month. And when I quit? They kicked me out, friends. Kicked me to the curb. I had to find a place to live until I could get a cheap flight home, which was 1 week after they kicked me out.
• Cashier at a little grocery store near my childhood home. I hated that place. You know what I hated the most? One of the bagger-dudes hated me for some unknown reason. I have no idea why and he was really mean. He would glare at me and tell me I was a snob. Plus? He was a friend of my brother's! I've almost completely blocked it out. I almost forgot I ever worked there and I can't even remember how long I lasted. Probably a couple of weeks.

2. 4 movies I would watch over and over again...Since the invention of Netflix, I don't normally watch movies over and over, but there ARE a few exceptions and some of them aren't movies......

• Sex And The City. I actually bought all of the DVDs. And I never buy DVDs. Never.
• Sleepless in Seattle.
• The Bourne Movies.
• Under The Tuscan Sun

3. 4 places I have lived....I'm totally stealing this from Gail......I feel soooo well-rounded admitting this:

• Minnesota
• Mn
• Minnysota
• Minnesnowta

4. 4 people who email daily.....

• Boy. I don't think I have daily emails from anyone.

5. 4 favorite things to eat.........

• Ice cream
• Hummus
• Salads
• Any creamy dessert - homemade pudding, cheesecake.

6. 4 places I would rather be....

• At a home improvement store
• With my pals
• Hanging with Zuddy and Noodle
• Watching HGTV at my Mom's

7. 4 things I look forward to this year....

• Maybe finishing that freakin' kitchen??
• Camping with Zuddy and Noodle
• Reading people's blogs.
• I'd like to go to Seattle to visit Kris and Michelle.

8. 4 people I will tag... Only four?? I'm going to pick more than four. And the ones who don't have blogs? I want you to email me your answers and I will post them on my blog!

• MJ
• Michelle Lewis
• Cutzi
• Sarah from The Fortner Family
• ThirkellGirl from Ivy Cottage Corner
• Lisa from Take 90 West
• PLO from For Cry Eye
• Sister Honey Bunch from Sisters of a Different Order
• Lisa from Coastal Nest

Let's play, girls!

Continued.......

Okay, everyone! Are you ready for the continuation of day two?

Here it goes.......

First of all, all I can tell you is we made carrot cake, peach pie, chicken and muffins this day.

It's aaalllll so top secret.

Kind of like the CIA.
Minus the double agents, world travel and the involvement of the government.

So, okay.........it's nothing like the CIA.

Anyway, I'll tell you that four shots is a lot for one stylist to do in one day. If we were shooting for the front of some packaging (like a cake mix, for instance)? We'd be working for a couple of days to get one shot. Maybe even more than a couple of days. And there's no way they'd let an idiot like me style anything for it.

Anyhoo, Melinda (the food stylist) is good and she knocked down 2 shots before lunch. She saved the harder shots for the afternoon - the pie and the cake.

Here are the tools Melinda used to do the "stand-in". The stand-in is a fairly unstyled piece that the stylist (or assistant) would put on the set so the photographer can light the set and the Art Director can work with the plates and other accessories for the shot. In food styling, there are lots of medical and dental tools used. See that scalpel with the teal handle?

Oh - by the way? There are 6 people working on the shot here: Me, Melinda, Kevin (the photographer), Amy (the photographer's assistant), Linda (the art director) and Mara (she's works for the studio and the client and is here to make sure we do what the client wants). Here's a picture of Mara. Just because I like her:

She's cute and tiny and petite and wears really cute shoes with high heels. And she's fun to talk to.
You know who else I really like? Stephanie:

She runs the studio. When she comes in for the day everyone is clamoring to talk to her. And not because they need anything, but because she's just fun to talk to. This woman has 5 kids. Five! And a grandchild!!! She truly is super-woman. I think she may have been a model, as well. Look at her! Gorgeous!

So! Here's Melinda, cutting out a piece of pie for the "stand-in".

.
See the pie she is working on? The top is much smoother than the one on the right of the photo. Go ahead and click on the photo and check it out. The one on the right of the photo is the actual recipe. The one that Melinda is working on?

It's stuffed with instant mashed potatoes!!! Melinda makes the mashed potatoes and then tops them with the pie filling to get the top of the pie to look less bumpy and cracked, but she needs to have the peaches show through, so she tops them with the actual pie filling. When she styles the finished piece? She pins peaches on the potatoes to cover them up and make it look like a peach pie.

For the next shot, the carrot cake, the art director decided she wanted a bowl of berries in the background. So, luckily, Pegi, another food stylist is working with berries in the next studio. I go over there and see this:

Ummmmm.....hey, there Dave! Whatchya doin'? Errrr......working real hard I see. Uh, whatchya lookin' at there? This Old House's website? Hmmmm. And what does this website have in common with food photography??

Dave is another photographer/assistant. He is shooting all the step-shots today. There is a lot of waiting around for the photographers while the food stylists make the food pretty. Dave likes woodworking in his free time. He's building some kitchen cabinets for his house.

Chicks totally dig Dave. They feed him fruit with very large tweezers:

I didn't get a shot of Pegi, but she's the one with the big tweezers. She's really neat and a funny goofball. I see Pegi maayybe twice a year, but it feels like I've know her forever.

But you know what? That's how this business is: you work very closely with people you may have never met before. You need to become best friends and work well together as a team to get the job done and not piss anyone off. In the process, you get to know a lot about these people in a short time and then you're done. You move on to the next thing.

Anyway, I get the berries from Pegi and I sort through them and look for some beauties. I place the strawberries in some cool water to hydrate and perk up the greens on them.

Meanwhile, Melinda starts working on the carrot cake. I made the cakes the day before and the frosting today:

And here is the finished shot on set!

Viola!

It's about 6pm and we get to go home! I get home at about 6:30 and I'm tired.

A Day In The Life......

Okay, Internets.....I thought you'd enjoy a little pictorial of my last couple of days (and I do mean little. Some of my pictures didn't turn out so hot.)

My job is always different. I like that in a job.

You know what Zuddy likes in a job? A nice, reliable paycheck. Which is something I can't seem to provide for him with my current work.

Anyhoo.......the last two days I worked in a Photographer's Studio as a food stylist's assistant. For a while I really wanted to be a food stylist, but I've come to realize that I don't have what it takes. Heck, I don't really have what it takes to be an assistant! Because a lot of the "assistants" I know? They're really food stylists masquerading as assistants.

Okay, so here it goes.............

Sunday night, I looked at all the recipes (there were six recipes) and all of the Art Director's layout sketches to see what I needed. I need to look at the layout sketches to see if anything is featured in the background as a prop. Like a bowl of veggies as a side dish or something like that.

Early Monday morning (about 6 am) I left the house to go grocery shopping for the shoot. I went to one store and bought everything. I should've gone to 2 stores because I needed some pretty green beans and the ones at the store were ugly. I had actually planned on going to a second store, but the traffic was horrendous for some reason, and I felt like I was late when I got there. Turns out? Mondays are hard and everyone was late, so I should've gone. But I didn't.

Anyway, I worked half of the day by myself and I had some "step-shots" to do. The photographer takes photos of a certain step of the cooking process. They let me "style" those because on the finished product, they will be tiny little pictures and not much detail is needed.

The rest of my time there, I continue to prepare food for the food stylist who came in for a half-day to style for 2 shots. The food stylist's name is Melinda. Melinda cranked out both of those shots and we got to go home at 4:30. I got home at 5:15.

Tuesday I left a little later......about 7 am. I had to go to the grocery store again. I went to the one where the stinky people shop. They always have nice-looking stuff and I needed some beautiful chicken pieces.

This store is a little chi-chi foo-foo. And, as I've mentioned before, there's almost always a fellow shopper who smells like they haven't washed their hair.

Today was no exception. I think smelling unwashed hair is my "super power".

I don't like having this "super power".

Anyway, I digress.....Look at the lovely warm lighting of this store. Soothing, huh? Look at the copper ceiling. Pretty, right?

Oh, I also had to take a photo for Lisa of Take 90 West. It's the Velveeta. Right where it should be, huh? In the dairy aisle.

But, is Sunny Delight supposed to be there, too? I don't know......maybe.

Anyway, Melinda wanted a couple of HUGE boxes of instant mashed potatoes for a shot. And not for what you'd think (tee hee!). The first store didn't have HUGE boxes here, so I had to go to the big cheap grocery store:
Argh!!! The lighting, the lighting! Hurts my eyes. But I found what I needed.

So, I hop back into my car and head to the studio. Oh I forgot.....I took a picture of the city on my way to the studio.

Because I'm a reeal careful driver like that.

Do you know what all of that haze and steam means?

It means its freakin' cold, people, that's what it means. -4 degrees kind of cold.

Oh! Look! We're here!

I'm the first one here, so I go into the building and wait. Oh! Here's my bag and some of the things I carry for a day of work:

A microplane, a sharp chef's knife, a scoopy-outy thingy. The potatoes I bought, and an apron.

Sometimes? I just bring all of my kitchen tools in my new tool holder:

I love this thing. LOVE it. Even though it's ugly. And guess what? This studio happens to do the photography for Pampered Chef!! So they have a lot of their products there. Like my new favorite little thingies, their prep bowls:

They're so cute they make me want to cry....they look like a wee little batter bowl. I'm totally buying these the next time I have to go to one of those dumb parties.

Okay......Moving on.....here's the kitchen I worked in:

They have about 4 kitchens at this studio. They're all large kitchens for 2 people to work in at once - the food stylist and the assistant. They have 2 ranges in each kitchen and 1 or 2 fridges.

This is the worst picture ever, but here's a set with a stove for one of the step-by-step shots. Maybe you can see better if you click on the picture.

Okay, I need to quit now, because, Dudes.

It took me forever to load all of those pictures in. I'll continue this story tomorrow.............

I'm Working.....

.......and it's really cutting into my blogging time.

But I just wanted to thank you all for your comments! I was laughing soooo hard at the Brett Michaels' comments....Sister Honey Bunch cracked me up!!!

And Jen from Gordostyle.....I beg your pardon?? Ha ha.

Sarah? I'm coming over to watch the show. I'll bring popcorn. And my laundry.

Michelle and Kris? The only reason I 'fessed up to Barry is because I knew you'd out me if I didn't. Even though Linda from Restyled Home already did.

Have a great day, everyone!

I'm A Fanilow

I know.

I'm sooo embarrassed. But I am. I'm a Fanilow.

I'll tell you 2 stories from the show. Well, maybe three or four. Because it was the funniest night I've had in a long time.

First of all? I never go to concerts. If I go to a concert, it's with my friend Michelle who I've known since the 10th grade. This is not our first Manilow concert. Oh No. We've been going to them since High School.

Here's a picture of Michelle with the Noodle a couple of Halloweens ago:

How cute is that? Michelle picked Noodle up from school that day and took her out for dinner.

Anyway. Back to my embarrassment.

First of all, Zuddy has been giving me loads of crap about this concert. Loads.

So he tells me he truly expects me to come home from the concert sans underwear. Which makes us both laugh maniacally.

Because I totally wear Mom underwear. And If I had them? I'd still be wearing my maternity underwear because I'm all about comfort, people.

Anyway, we're laughing so hard and envisioning the sizable leg hole of my 100% cotton Hanes Her Way underwear slipping over Barry's head and falling all the way down his body and landing on a puddle on the floor.

So I'm telling Michelle this at the restaurant and we're laughing, gasping for air. After she recovers, wipes the tears of laughter from her face and is about to take a drink of her martini (pinkie in the air), she says, "They wouldn't fall all the way to the floor....they'd get caught on his nose." Which makes us crack up AGAIN.

So, we're at the restaurant (which is fancy-schmanzy and very crowded) talking and this beautiful well-dressed blonde woman comes up to us and says (to Michelle), "I thought that was you!!! Are you going to the Manilow concert?"

Michelle says, "Yes! How are you doing?"

The blonde says, "Great! It's so good to see you! Maybe I'll see you at the concert!"

Michelle watches her walk away and says, "Oh my GOD"

"What?"

"She has a purse made out of a Barry Manilow album cover." Which sends us into peals of laughter again.

After we both recover and wipe away our tears, I say, "Who was that?"

Michelle, sipping her Martini (pinkie-up) dead-pans, "I don't know."

So we get to the concert and there's a big group of people I know from my work at General Mills. We walk quickly to get away, hoping they don't see us.

We see NUMEROUS grown women wearing matching outfits. NO FREAKIN' LIE. We see very hip-looking 20 year olds who should be clubbing it on a Friday night. We see lots of women our age who have dragged their sheepish-looking spouses to this show. We see older, very refined-looking couples. We see typical Minnesotan granny-types with embellished sweatshirts on.

Michelle, who's been having some stress at work, had warned me that this would be a night of drinking for her. She parked her already-had-2-martinis-self at the bar on near our seats while I looked around for a coffee shop at the venue. No coffee shop. I go get a soda and find her still at the bar double-fisting the cranberry/vodkas. I'm leaning on a big pillar and we're chatting and those freakin' people I know from work come up to the bar for a drink!!! I mean COME ON! There are 10,000 people here! Sheesh! Get away from me!!! I hide behind the pillar. I don't think they saw me.

I've got more stories. So many more.

Can We Talk??

First of all, Everyone? Thanks so much for wishing my Zuddy a happy birthday! He was completely overwhelmed and he said it was the best birthday present EV-AH!

Second? Yikes.

Do I come out with my dirty little musical secret?

I don't know.

I really want to talk about the concert my pal Michelle and I went to last night because we laughed the entire evening.......AT people.
And THAT isn't nice.
No, it's not.
But the people watching was awesome, I tell you. Simply AWESOME.

I don't know.....I'll think about it. But first of all? Let's talk about THIS:

This is an Ad I found in People magazine . It's for VH-1's show Rock Of Love 2 with Brett Michaels.

Anything kind of staring you in the freakin' face? Hmmm? Huh?

Oh my.......ummmmm......Brett? Uh, you've got something on your.......uh-no.....not there - lower. Lower......loooowwwwer........llllllloooooooowwwwwwer.

Um, YEAH. RIGHT THERE.

I think it's a SOCK.

I mean, COME ON!!! I saw this ad and CRACKED UP!!!! Then I wanted to share it with you, but I had to do some digging to find the photo on line.....and I found a couple other photos I'd like to share with you: first of all, I went to the vh1 website and looked at photos of all the girls vying for "Mr. Sock-in-his pants" 's affections.

That's 20 minutes of my life I will never get back. But-hey, it's good blogging fodder, so here's the only photo I saved:

Wow, huh? I mean, whoa - right? Makes me really appreciate a GOOD plastic surgeon's work.

Then I found a TON of Brett Michaels' photos. And on the ones where he's REALLY trying to look sexy? He makes his lips all pouty and his eyes all squinty. Like this:

So that's all I have to share today. For now. But I'm feeling exceptionally snarky today. And giggly.

Happy Birthday Zuddy!!!

My sweet Zuddy is having his birthday today! I don't say a whole lot about Zuddy in my blog, so let me introduce you:

Everyone? This is Zuddy......

(with Louie and Noodle last year)

Zuddy? The people reading this blog are my friends, the Internets! You might even know some of them in real life. Like Amy, MJ, the LOVELY Michelle (Dude's wife).

I'm going to tell you about my Zuddy.

• We met 15 years ago at our HS reunion. I knew who he was in high school. He was the long-haired, guitar-playing, leather and chain wearing, druggie smoker-dude. While I was a cheerleader at the pep-fest? Zuddy was skipping the pep-fest in favor of smoking cigarettes across the street from the school. He had a bad-boy hotness about him, though.
• There was NO way I was going to date him......even if he was funny. He still had long hair and he actually quit HS (and got his GED). Nope. He was NOT for me. Plus, he's from my hometown, and I wasn't having any of THAT.
• We talked the entire night. I don't think I talked to anyone else - I'll go into all of this at another time.
• Well, thank GOD I'm an open-minded girl, because I landed myself a TREASURE, people!
• Zuddy is my other half. We think completely alike in all the big areas of life: parenting, honesty, religion, politics, human rights. But it's the little but oh-so important things where I learn from him: how to love someone completely and unconditionally. How to not FREAK OUT about things. How to THINK before you speak (I'm still working on this one.), How to never say something that will hurt someone (still working on this.....). He is remarkably kind-hearted.
• Zuddy is sooooo funny and quick-witted! He keeps me laughing EVERY DAY. I mean really hard belly laughs, people.
• My family likes him better than they like me.
• He loves children.....LOVES them. Especially babies. He has the most gentle, calming touch. Babies love him.
  
  (here he is with sweet baby Braden, my buddy Kim's little boy)

• He's an AMAZING daddy. He's gentle, likes to hang with his girl in the garage, take her camping and to work. He'll do anything for her....he'll make her a special dinner and let her cut his hair:

(Zuddy as a Dr. Phil-style power ranger)

(Breakfast for dinner, ala Zuddy.)

• He'll do sweet little things, like email me during the day to say thank you for the dinner last night, or puts a craft-foam heart on the coffee maker so I see it first thing in the morning.
• He'll take Noodle to the bus stop in the morning so I can blog. Even though it's my job to take her.
• He reads my blog and sometimes comments.
• He works really hard for us.
• He takes over the parenting duties when he notices that I'm tired.....without me having to ask him.
• He encourages me to be with my girlfriends.
• He buys me ice cream and puts it in the freezer without telling me.
• He still looks at me like I'm beautiful, even though I've gained a gazillion pounds since he met me.
• He kisses my forehead I can feel the love......I feel it.
• He loves his "girls".
• He never yells. He just doesn't. He rarely gets angry. He's a gentle soul.
• He tucks me into bed.

I could go on and on......I just want to tell my sweetie "Happy Birthday" and "I love you!" and "You're amazing".

Wait!!! Slow Down!

I told MJ about how we need to blog about the making of these chalkboards. Because Lisa said so. And you know what she said??

"What are you doing this weekend?"

Tsk, tsk, MJ.

Perhaps she doesn't realize we need to put this off for a bit? You know, sit with it....go look at mouldings......then put it off. Go look at paint......then put it off again.

I just don't "jump in" and get something done!!! (and, yes, I used finger quotes around the "jump in".) That's CRAZY talk!!! (and here? I'm waving my hands like a crazy person.)

Sheesh.

Anyway, anyway, I told Kirst we'd be making them and would she like us to make one for her? Free? No effort involved? (she said no.)
"Oh." I said.
Pause.
"Did I mention we're doing it at your house? And using Frank's tools?"


Ooohhhhh.....I forgot to tell you all that MJ gave Noodle (me) her old doll house (it's mine). Can you believe it? So I've been shopping.......

Whoa!! Look at this thing!!!!! Amazing, huh? $232. I didn't even spend that much on my life-size dining room chandelier!

Look at THIS!!!!! An AGA stove for a doll house!

Heeeyyyy. I wonder what they have for DISHWASHERS?

Hmmmm.....this would be like buying the Ariston dishwasher at Appliance Smart, huh?

And thanks to all of my internet friends, I think I will wait on the dishwasher. I'd rather get what I want. And I DID go to Lowe's and look at the Bosch dishwashers......the price is good, but I kind of don't like the way the interior racks are set up. I know that's dumb, but Ladies? As a student intern and recipe developer? I've loaded many a dishwasher. I'm going to go and look again, though, because I've been hearing from everyone that Bosch is the way to go. And even the top of the line Bosch is cheaper than the Kenmore that I want (if I remember correctly. Numbers are swimming around in my head.).

By the way? All of your comments CRACK ME UP!!!! I looked at the links sent by Michelle and I totally remember those jeans. Big Yank. Why did they name their jeans Big Yank? WHY?

Oh, and don't worry, internets, the phone in the kitchen is just a second phone. It has no caller ID. It's only used in emergencies when the cordless is charging. And the old-fashioned ring - it's a BELL! Makes me jump a mile. It's hard to ignore...which is good, I guess. I won't ignore the ringing phone like I normally do.

Oh, and I'm loving my little Motivated Moms chore chart. I love that I don't need to think. Thinking can be dangerous, people.