Saturday, November 24, 2007



Why are my Christmas tree lights hatin' on me??

I've really been looking forward to this weekend. I love Thanksgiving dinner. LOVE it. Zuddy leaves town after dinner every year to spend time with his Dad and some other manly-men shooting poor, defenseless clay pigeons and Noodle and I decorate the tree and listen to Holiday music.

We had the perfect Thanksgiving. GG's turkey was AMAZING, as usual. The gravy? To die for.
Zuddy just ate gravy.
Just enough wine to make it interesting, but not boozy. It was super dark brown and flavorful. And I'm pretty sure it took 2 days to make.

After eating, we watched the kids sing High School Musical songs on their new Wii system. Soooo cute! Even Sweet Angel, who doesn't know the words. We sang loudly with her and she loved it!

Then? Our new tradition is to go to a movie. We saw Enchanted. I was excited to go see a movie, but I was thinking I wouldn't like this one.

Boy, was I wrong! It was a really fun little movie! Amy Adams is perfect in it.

Then, Noodle and I went home. Zuddy had already left, so Noodle and I make it our tradition to put up the tree on Friday morning.

This is where things went awry, people.

I thought I was soooo smart for putting the tree away last year with the lights still attached! So Smart **pat-pat on my back**. I just took the whole tree, still set up and put it away in the storage closet. Boy, am I brilliant!

So yesterday morning, when I brought out the tree and plugged the lights in, SOME of the them wouldn't work.
Long story short? Noodle decorated part of the tree, while I struggled with the lights, eventually taking most of them off.
I was SEETHING inside.
And I hadn't showered or changed out of my stinky jammies. Or brushed my fuzzy teeth.
All I could do was think all sorts of bad, bad words inside my head while listening to Harry Connick Jr. croon Holiday songs in the background.

And the Noodle, in all her Drama-Queen glory, was dancing around the living room like Amy Adams in Enchanted. Only she's not at the ball, people. Our living room is now littered with fake pine needles, foam packing peanuts clinging to every surface and broken ornaments everywhere.
Eventually I shut down the whole operation and we took a nap. When we woke up, I showered, we went to Target for more lights (of course I didn't buy enough. I still need more), got a festive dinner of Taco Bell and I fixed the tree: took off all the ornaments, re-lighted the tree and put the ornaments back on.
We skipped the Holidazzle Parade and went to bed after watching the 20/20 show on the Guinness Book of World Records. Did you all see that?
Probably not. I'll bet you all have a life out there, huh? The lady with the longest fingernails really skeeved me out.

So. It wasn't the festive day of decorating that I envisioned.

In fact, I told the Noodle if she ever plays with packing peanuts again, I will sell her and all of her belongings to the gypsies.

Happy *&^%$@ Holidays!


Kim said...

HA! Been there, done that! I've come to the point that if they don't work after one trial adjustment, I just chuck them & go out to Target. I swear, they make them to be disposable so we have to do that every year. I hope that the decorating becomes more fun over the weekend!

yellowfarmhouse said...

Hey sorry those dang lights didn't work and ruined the day for you. Hope it got better and you and the noodle were able to finish the job. Decorating the tree is my least favorite part of the holiday decorating process.

Hugs - Karen

Lisa@Take90West said...

I think we have had the same delightful Holiday experience this weekend.
What started out on Friday as a day of good intentions "let's decorate the tree kids.!" Ended up with me using every cuss word known to man at this pre-lit, yet non-lit, tree in my living room. Finally today I called the store we bought it from because I was desperate. And they told me to bring it back and they would fix it. So it will be ready tomorrow. And the girl even told me she makes house calls during the week. Who knew their were profession tree light fixers out there?
So needless to say, me swearing at the tree is really the stuff that our holiday memories have been made of so far this year.

The Tattered Nest said...

that's to funny...we can all relate! I have a question, How are you going to keep your little boyfriend away from that tree? the more I say no to my niece the more she is drawn to it...So Monday morning I am trying reverse psychology...good luck!

melissa @ the inspired room said...

HA! Yes, I've been there. Packing peanuts scattered like snow but grabbing onto everything like static cling. Trees that won't stand up straight. Lights that don't work once you have each strand carefully placed. UGH. Steam coming out of my ears and nose. No, you aren't the only one.

Thanks for the comment on my blog!


kari said...

Hi there! Sorry for your trouble with the Christmas lights. That is a total pain. And, I'm bummed that we missed the 20/20 show about the Guinness 9 yr. old son was looking forward to that and we forgot all about it. I'm hoping to get our tree up next weekend. I first HAVE to clean house this week, it's a mess around here.

Mrs. Jones said...

I almost sold MY children to the gypsies this weekend (see my blog for further explanation). Can't they invent an easier way to put Christmas lights on trees? They are such a pain in the **.

restyled home said...

Oh yeah, THAT is the reason I am stalling with my Christmas decorating!! I just know that no matter what I envision in my head, it just won't go that way. Teenage son will be vacant and uninterested, middle son will irritate the life out of his little sister who will be asking millions of questions in between tattling on her brother! But, I'll pretend I'm having fun anyway! And then I'll dull my senses with cheap wine and eat potato chips until my tongue dries out... Ho Ho Ho!!


Martha said...

I love you all, MAAAAANNNNN!

What I didn't write down in that post was when Noodle was dancing around like Amy Adams in Enchanted? Harry Connick Jr. was singing about "A Very Special Christmas" and the Noodle said, "He's RIGHT! This IS going to be a very special Christmas!" I wrote it down for Zuddy and explained how crabby I was, swearing inside my head. But I dropped what I was working on because I HAD to write it down.

Linda? You are HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud at your comment!


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