Saturday, November 17, 2007

It's All About ME, People!

I was thinking about 7 things meme. And you know what?

This blog started with the kitchen. I'm not sure the kitchen will ever end.

But it's also about ME.
ME ME ME *stomping foot*!
And if it's not about me? I'll make it about me.
Like when my friend got divorced? I beautifully turned that one around into my own mini midlife crisis, did you catch that? Huh?

So if you're reading this? Don't you DARE click away.
You're stuck.
You have to read these 7 things about ME!! **evil laugh while I'm wringing my hands**
And dammit!? Why should I stop at seven? I might sneak another one in there just to torture whoever has the bad sense to read this!!

Okay, here it goes:

1. When we got married, Zuddy and I decided we weren't going to have children. Then? My girlfriend had twins.
Really really cute ones.
We went over to their house to celebrate their first birthday and thought we needed one of those.
So we thought we'd try.
We tried once.
Then we thought, "Oooo. Let's not try that again. We're not ready yet. Maybe in another year." But the damage had been done, friends. We were in such shock that we didn't talk about it for a couple of days after we found out. Then we were thrilled.
I truly believe it was Divine intervention. We probably wouldn't have tried again because it never would've been "the right time" for us. And I have to tell you: we've never had another pregnancy scare. Not one. We tried once, got pregnant and the rest is Noodly!

2. I'm very hormonal. Pregnancy and nursing made me a crazy-woman. When I was preggers with Noodle, Zuddy would say something to make me laugh and then I'd laugh so hard that I'd cry. But then something would happen and I'd really start crying! Like I was sad! The first couple of times Zuddy would get so concerned and wonder what was going on. I'd just shake my head, blubbering, and say, "I'm not sad! I'm really not, but I can't stop crying!!" After a while it became an entertainment thing and he'd crack up. It only happened when I was pregnant. Never again.

3. I'm a real potty-mouth behind the wheel of my car. Especially on the highway. If the Noodle is with me, I'm pretty good at keeping it at clean words: like MORON! or, IDIOT! or Come ON GRANDPA!
Oh. What? You say those aren't clean, either?
Oh. Sorry.

4. Zuddy shaves his head. When we met? He had long hair. Then a year or two after we got married, he got it cut. He's been shaving his head for a while now, but he's not exactly a metro sexual: it gets too long and looks awful so I start harping on him to groom himself. Then he takes Noodle into the garage and lets her shave his head. They'll plan on a style together and he'll wear it in public for a week or so. Last time it was a Mohawk. This time? The "Dr. Phil". He wears a hat most of the time, but when he takes it off I crack up!!! And then we sit there and look at each other laughing. He's been saying some Dr. Phil-isms all week. Like: "How's that workin' for ya?"

5. I'm not a big fan of organized religion. It's taken me a long time to realize this and then admit it without shame. As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I'm very spiritual, but church turns me off. I took a bunch of theology classes in college and I loved them at first, when the classes concentrated on the overview and histories of the different religions, but then they went and got all, "Here's what xxx religion believes, but they're WRONG!"
I've been wanting to attend a church for the sake of the Noodle, to give her some religious background, but I'm having a really hard time getting there. I'm way too liberal for many churches, but too uptight for the really liberal ones. My dear friend Amy is nudging me to try her church. My other dear friend, Hilary, just joined Amy's church and she thinks I'd like it, too. The Noodle and I are going next week. Zuddy will never go. He has very good reason not to, but that's his story to tell.

6. I was buying cat food at Petco the other day. There was a total "crazy cat lady"-type directly in front of me in the checkout line. She had a cartful of cat crap and some cat-eye style glasses on. A million cans of food. Three HUGE bags of kitty litter. I was getting all judgy on her and thinking about how she's probably going home to cats walking on every table and countertop and she probably pops open a can of Fancy Feast for herself and eats it in front of the tv while watching the Cat Channel.
Then I came home, lugging my 20# bag of "Science Diet Indoor Cat Formula for Mature Cats age 7 +" and told Zuddy about how crazy she was. And it seemed like he was smirking at me. Maybe it was because I was telling him the story between kissing the cats on the lips.
But that's okay, right?
Right.

7. The Noodle wrote a letter to Santa the other day. I have no idea what the letter says because it's already in a sealed envelope. She gave the envelope to me so I would mail it for her and it seemed a little heavy. So I was playing touchy-feely with the envelope and then I shook it and realized that there's some money in there - like quarters or something. She's paying Santa off, people!
I gave the envelope to Zuddy because he usually does the mailing for us at work. I can't wait until he opens it!! I'll let you know if there's anything good in there!

Okay! I get to tag some people! And you HAVE to do it. Even if you've done it before!! I'm tagging my new best friend, Cutzi, The Garage Gourmet (Again. And he'd better do it this time), and Kari, who made the fatal mistake of commenting on my psycho blog-stalker post yesterday.

4 comments:

Jen Kershner said...

Loved your 7 things. Such a way with words! Jen

Lisa said...

Those were fun answers! Even if you are a crazy cat lady and I am deathly afraid of cats. I know, I know, what can a cat do to me? But trust me, I have had a bad cat experience that left me scarred for life. You are so funny, I'd love to go for a drive with you!

Martha said...

Oh, Lisa!

I completely understand....I don't like Priests for the same reason :) No, no. Nothing really bad....but eeeeewwwww.

Elle Jay Bee said...

Love your list! I'm a bit of a crazy cat lady, too...except I will only kiss one of my cats, because the other eats anything (living) that moves!! Yuck!!!!!