Thursday, November 29, 2007


I found this baby today. I was looking for the most expensive house I could find in the Twin Cities. I just stopped at this one because.....well, I really don't think there's one more expensive. And if there is? I don't really want to know.

Because this one? It's 53 million dollars, people. Yessiree! It sits on 12 acres of lakefront property and there are 7 structures on the site - including a tea house (hey - why not, right?) and a caretaker's cottage. There are 9 bedrooms and 16 bathrooms.....though I don't think those are all in the main house. Are you ready for the square footage and taxes?

32,461 square feet and the taxes on this bad-boy are $133, 638. Which really isn't that bad, when you think of it.

Unless I would have to pay them.

Then it would be tragic.

Are you ready?

There are only 8 pictures.......let's go!

Here's the aerial view. The house is in Orono, Minnesota.

There was a girl from Orono on my crew team in college. She was messed up, people. I wonder if she lived here? Because I've gotta believe if you grow up with all of this? Life would be pretty disappointing. I mean.....what on EARTH would ever impress or excite you?

Then again, Ivanka Trump seems pretty normal, right? I mean, I think she comes off as normal when we hang out. Ha. No. Really. I mean it. She's really, really nice.
You know what would be cool? You could always be alone in a house like this.

Which would explain why my teammate from Orono was so messed up, I guess.'d have the Nanny, right? And the caretaker? And the chef?

And the gardener.

The courts are looking like they need attention. I'll have to alert the caretaker. Then I'm totally going to fire him.

Because caretakers aren't doing their job if the courts look like this, are they now?

No. They're not.

Ahhhhhh..... the library. This is the only room I need, people. Can't you just imagine holing up in here with a blankie, a pile of magazines and a laptop? You could fling open all of those french doors and read blogs all day long! Er......I mean read the classics! Just pull one down from one of those shelves over there! Yeah!

The living room. Cavernous, yes? Kind of looks like a funeral parlor. I must redecorate.

The gym is next. Half the fun of going to the gym is the people watching, though, isn't it? I guess we could hire people to work out so that I could watch them. There's always some old guy at the gym who doesn't believe in deodorant, so we'd have to hire someone who smells like chicken noodle soup to come in and work out. Because that's what that smelly guy at the gym always smells like, am I right?

Once? When I was working at a nameless, faceless food company, my friend Ann and I were discussing this. We were sitting with our pals, the Process Engineers (all men) one morning in the food labs talking about this very subject. The boys thought we were stupid. They said BO doesn't smell like chicken noodle soup. Five minutes later, one of our other co-workers came in from the pilot plant (a pilot plant is a mock-up of a larger scale food plant in an R&D facility) to complain about the temporary employee helping out there. He said that he had B.O. and smelled like French Onion soup. Close enough.

Anyway **shaking head really fast**, here's that gym:

And that's it! There weren't any more photos of the inside. No kitchen photos.....but it does state that the kitchen is 18x37 feet.

What do you think? Kim?


Kim said...

HOLY MOLEY!!! That is to die for. I want that gym. Not that I ever work out, but its so darned pretty. And, that pool--I dream of swimming in a pool like that.

Lisa@Take90West said...

Martha, couldn't you have least asked me before your posted pictures of our summer place on your blog?

The only thing my house has in common with that house is those couches in the library are the exact same ones that I have in my family room.
And my home gym is way better.

Lisa@Take90West said...

ps this was your funniest post ever, I think!

Penny said...

Taxes on that place are a "bargain" when compared with Southeastern WI! The list price is nearly 300 times the price at which we would list our house, but the taxes are only 28 times what we pay.

The Welcome to Wisconsin signs should say Welcome to Tax H E Double Hockey sticks!! LOL!

Mrs. Jones said...

Wow! That is amazing ... it would be so lonely, though. I couldn't scream across the street to my wonderful neighbor, Betty. The kids couldn't all ride their bikes on the cul-de-sac. I *could* do without the crazy Indian guy in our neighborhood who likes to water his lawn in his undies! Yep, you heard me right. And they're tidy-whities. I bet he smells like chicken noodle soup, too.

(I'll take the indoor pool, though)

Laurie said...

Who knew we had homes like that in Mn?!? I always wonder who lives in places like that and what they do..inherited old money probably.