Because this one? It's 53 million dollars, people. Yessiree! It sits on 12 acres of lakefront property and there are 7 structures on the site - including a tea house (hey - why not, right?) and a caretaker's cottage. There are 9 bedrooms and 16 bathrooms.....though I don't think those are all in the main house. Are you ready for the square footage and taxes?
32,461 square feet and the taxes on this bad-boy are $133, 638. Which really isn't that bad, when you think of it.
Unless I would have to pay them.
Then it would be tragic.
Are you ready?
There are only 8 pictures.......let's go!
Here's the aerial view. The house is in Orono, Minnesota.
There was a girl from Orono on my crew team in college. She was messed up, people. I wonder if she lived here? Because I've gotta believe if you grow up with all of this? Life would be pretty disappointing. I mean.....what on EARTH would ever impress or excite you?
Then again, Ivanka Trump seems pretty normal, right? I mean, I think she comes off as normal when we hang out. Ha. No. Really. I mean it. She's really, really nice.
You know what would be cool? You could always be alone in a house like this.
Which would explain why my teammate from Orono was so messed up, I guess. Well.....you'd have the Nanny, right? And the caretaker? And the chef?
And the gardener.
Because caretakers aren't doing their job if the courts look like this, are they now?
No. They're not.
Ahhhhhh..... the library. This is the only room I need, people. Can't you just imagine holing up in here with a blankie, a pile of magazines and a laptop? You could fling open all of those french doors and read blogs all day long! Er......I mean read the classics! Just pull one down from one of those shelves over there! Yeah!
The living room. Cavernous, yes? Kind of looks like a funeral parlor. I must redecorate.
The gym is next. Half the fun of going to the gym is the people watching, though, isn't it? I guess we could hire people to work out so that I could watch them. There's always some old guy at the gym who doesn't believe in deodorant, so we'd have to hire someone who smells like chicken noodle soup to come in and work out. Because that's what that smelly guy at the gym always smells like, am I right?
Once? When I was working at a nameless, faceless food company, my friend Ann and I were discussing this. We were sitting with our pals, the Process Engineers (all men) one morning in the food labs talking about this very subject. The boys thought we were stupid. They said BO doesn't smell like chicken noodle soup. Five minutes later, one of our other co-workers came in from the pilot plant (a pilot plant is a mock-up of a larger scale food plant in an R&D facility) to complain about the temporary employee helping out there. He said that he had B.O. and smelled like French Onion soup. Close enough.
Anyway **shaking head really fast**, here's that gym:
What do you think? Kim?