Sunday, January 13, 2008

I'm A Fanilow


I know.

I'm sooo embarrassed. But I am. I'm a Fanilow.

I'll tell you 2 stories from the show. Well, maybe three or four. Because it was the funniest night I've had in a long time.

First of all? I never go to concerts. If I go to a concert, it's with my friend Michelle who I've known since the 10th grade. This is not our first Manilow concert. Oh No. We've been going to them since High School.

Here's a picture of Michelle with the Noodle a couple of Halloweens ago:


How cute is that? Michelle picked Noodle up from school that day and took her out for dinner.

Anyway. Back to my embarrassment.

First of all, Zuddy has been giving me loads of crap about this concert. Loads.

So he tells me he truly expects me to come home from the concert sans underwear. Which makes us both laugh maniacally.

Because I totally wear Mom underwear. And If I had them? I'd still be wearing my maternity underwear because I'm all about comfort, people.

Anyway, we're laughing so hard and envisioning the sizable leg hole of my 100% cotton Hanes Her Way underwear slipping over Barry's head and falling all the way down his body and landing on a puddle on the floor.

So I'm telling Michelle this at the restaurant and we're laughing, gasping for air. After she recovers, wipes the tears of laughter from her face and is about to take a drink of her martini (pinkie in the air), she says, "They wouldn't fall all the way to the floor....they'd get caught on his nose." Which makes us crack up AGAIN.

So, we're at the restaurant (which is fancy-schmanzy and very crowded) talking and this beautiful well-dressed blonde woman comes up to us and says (to Michelle), "I thought that was you!!! Are you going to the Manilow concert?"

Michelle says, "Yes! How are you doing?"

The blonde says, "Great! It's so good to see you! Maybe I'll see you at the concert!"

Michelle watches her walk away and says, "Oh my GOD"

"What?"

"She has a purse made out of a Barry Manilow album cover." Which sends us into peals of laughter again.

After we both recover and wipe away our tears, I say, "Who was that?"

Michelle, sipping her Martini (pinkie-up) dead-pans, "I don't know."

So we get to the concert and there's a big group of people I know from my work at General Mills. We walk quickly to get away, hoping they don't see us.

We see NUMEROUS grown women wearing matching outfits. NO FREAKIN' LIE. We see very hip-looking 20 year olds who should be clubbing it on a Friday night. We see lots of women our age who have dragged their sheepish-looking spouses to this show. We see older, very refined-looking couples. We see typical Minnesotan granny-types with embellished sweatshirts on.

Michelle, who's been having some stress at work, had warned me that this would be a night of drinking for her. She parked her already-had-2-martinis-self at the bar on near our seats while I looked around for a coffee shop at the venue. No coffee shop. I go get a soda and find her still at the bar double-fisting the cranberry/vodkas. I'm leaning on a big pillar and we're chatting and those freakin' people I know from work come up to the bar for a drink!!! I mean COME ON! There are 10,000 people here! Sheesh! Get away from me!!! I hide behind the pillar. I don't think they saw me.

I've got more stories. So many more.

15 comments:

Lisa @ Take90West said...

I want to hear more stories! I'm a Fanilow too!
And starting my day off reading about your underware that would've gotten caught on Barry's nose has me giggling to myself!

Janet said...

I am a closet Fanilow ( not any more)!!
Janet

restyled home said...

OMG!!!!!!!!
I was right!!!!!!!!!!
Here's the proof: "I can probably top your concert loserville award (unless you're going to BARRY MANILOW or Marilyn Manson...wait wait!! Is it Ozzy Osborne??!!)..."

The above quote was extracted from a comment I left for you a while back after a post you did hinting at your secret concert plans. By proving myself right, I guess I can't pretend to think that Barry is a cool guy...so I guess I won't be able to be pretend I'm not laughing right now!!

I will, however, give you $50 if you throw your (my...) panties on him at his next concert...Of course I'd want photographic evidence!!

From one "granny panties" lover to another...
Linda

gordostyle said...

You are so hilarious! Thanks for sharing...and post the rest....none of us can wait!

Smiles,
Jennifer

Lisa said...

F A N I L O W?????

Oh my god---
I dont have any words..

not one.
except.. I cant smile without you-

Heaven help us..Granny panties everywhere.
Lisa
coastal nest

Sarah said...

OMG. LOL. I am speechless... need more stories LOL

Kellie said...

Shall I call you "Mandy?"
Let me just say: I'm not suprised it was Mr. Manilow. I knew it had to be him or Mr. Neil Diamond or something of the sort. Do you know how many "Fanilows" I know? So, so many. And I know of many of those "should be clubbing" girls who go religiously to his shows. Yes, I do. It's like a cult!
But I want to hear more stories. (And I love my Hanes too!)

Michelle said...

I knew it! Thanks for giving Kris and me some good laughs! Can't wait for more!

MJ said...

How many of you out there did the One Voice back up vocals? Mr. Manilow always had a local college choir do the backups for that song. I got to do it once. I told Martha this at Ikea and she just rolled her eyes at me. We all loved him. He does a fantastic show. I'd fling my Hanes his way.

MJ

Mrs. Jones said...

I had no idea this underground Manilow scene existed!

I actually went to a Donny Osmond concert ... yeah, that's my proud concert moment. My girlfriend at the lawfirm I worked at had a crush on him. So I dug out the Donny Osmond doll in purple pantsuit from when I was 4 years old and left it on her desk the next morning. She actually got us back stage and I have a picture of us with Donny!

Penny said...

Going to see Barry & being a Fanilow isn't that bad. It could be so much worse -- you could be a Brett "the sock" Michaels fan! *snicker*

PLO said...

Now why is it that everybody I like is a fanilow? Actually, I can say that I do enjoy and appreciate him, but my girlfriend asked me to go see him with her, but I am washing my hair that day...ha ha!

PLO said...

Oh, and your underwear story...too freaking funny, I am wearing the same ones!

The Tattered Nest said...

No way! Oh well, He sold out the Target Center...20,000 people can't be wrong...

MOTY said...

I'm new to your blog, coming from Lisa@take90west and you are too funny! Gotta say, been a Manilow fan since my mom started listening to him in the 70's. Much to my husbands disgust, he is all over my MP3 player! :)