I'm sooo embarrassed. But I am. I'm a Fanilow.
I'll tell you 2 stories from the show. Well, maybe three or four. Because it was the funniest night I've had in a long time.
First of all? I never go to concerts. If I go to a concert, it's with my friend Michelle who I've known since the 10th grade. This is not our first Manilow concert. Oh No. We've been going to them since High School.
Here's a picture of Michelle with the Noodle a couple of Halloweens ago:
Anyway. Back to my embarrassment.
First of all, Zuddy has been giving me loads of crap about this concert. Loads.
So he tells me he truly expects me to come home from the concert sans underwear. Which makes us both laugh maniacally.
Because I totally wear Mom underwear. And If I had them? I'd still be wearing my maternity underwear because I'm all about comfort, people.
Anyway, we're laughing so hard and envisioning the sizable leg hole of my 100% cotton Hanes Her Way underwear slipping over Barry's head and falling all the way down his body and landing on a puddle on the floor.
So I'm telling Michelle this at the restaurant and we're laughing, gasping for air. After she recovers, wipes the tears of laughter from her face and is about to take a drink of her martini (pinkie in the air), she says, "They wouldn't fall all the way to the floor....they'd get caught on his nose." Which makes us crack up AGAIN.
So, we're at the restaurant (which is fancy-schmanzy and very crowded) talking and this beautiful well-dressed blonde woman comes up to us and says (to Michelle), "I thought that was you!!! Are you going to the Manilow concert?"
Michelle says, "Yes! How are you doing?"
The blonde says, "Great! It's so good to see you! Maybe I'll see you at the concert!"
Michelle watches her walk away and says, "Oh my GOD"
"She has a purse made out of a Barry Manilow album cover." Which sends us into peals of laughter again.
After we both recover and wipe away our tears, I say, "Who was that?"
Michelle, sipping her Martini (pinkie-up) dead-pans, "I don't know."
So we get to the concert and there's a big group of people I know from my work at General Mills. We walk quickly to get away, hoping they don't see us.
We see NUMEROUS grown women wearing matching outfits. NO FREAKIN' LIE. We see very hip-looking 20 year olds who should be clubbing it on a Friday night. We see lots of women our age who have dragged their sheepish-looking spouses to this show. We see older, very refined-looking couples. We see typical Minnesotan granny-types with embellished sweatshirts on.
Michelle, who's been having some stress at work, had warned me that this would be a night of drinking for her. She parked her already-had-2-martinis-self at the bar on near our seats while I looked around for a coffee shop at the venue. No coffee shop. I go get a soda and find her still at the bar double-fisting the cranberry/vodkas. I'm leaning on a big pillar and we're chatting and those freakin' people I know from work come up to the bar for a drink!!! I mean COME ON! There are 10,000 people here! Sheesh! Get away from me!!! I hide behind the pillar. I don't think they saw me.
I've got more stories. So many more.