Monday, November 16, 2009


Dear Target,

I hate you.

What's up with you always being out of the items I want or need? Cat food. Black cotton socks. Nutrigrain waffles. Organic 1% milk. Corn Flakes. Furnace Filter. Frozen mixed vegetables.

Get it together or I'm gone.


Dear Guy at our Arkansas office,

Sorry I walked into the men's bathroom while you were peeing.

I don't know where my head was....I really don't. I mean, I was heading straight toward the ladies bathroom and then took that fateful right turn into the men's. What was I thinking?? I don't know. My bad.

Nice shirt, though.

My apologies,

p.s. I totally changed out of my shocking pink sweater and into my white jacket after you wouldn't recognize me. Did it work?

Dear Guy sitting next to me on the flight to Atlanta,

How nice were you?? Thanks for all of your help at the airport. Not many people will go out ieof their way to show us to the gate we needed. Especially at 10pm!
We had to run to the gate, but all 12 us made to our connecting flight. Then? after we were settled and ready to go? 10 more were let on the plane. Whew, huh?

And, yes, you were right: my luggage didn't make it with me.....
Which means that after getting in at 1 am, and then sleeping for a mere 4 hours, I had to truck it to my Mom's house and borrow her hair dryer and make-up.
And then? I used the wrong makeup brush and ended up with bronzer all over my face instead of the BareMinerals foundation I was using. So my FACE looked like it had been to the Caribbean? But my NECK looked like I stayed in Minnesota.

Good times.

Thanks again!!


Cutzi said...

Ok - I read through your whole post and all I could think about were the Target socks. What is UP with that? They NEVER have their socks in. Weird. It's a conspiracy, I think.

Michelle said...

Martha, I'm so sorry you walked into the men's room while that guy was peeing, but it gave me a good laugh on a cold, rainy Monday morning! It's a good thing you had jacket so you could go all incognito after that!

I have been trying to buy black Cuddl Duds pants at Target for at least 3 years, and they NEVER have them in stock. I think it's a conspiracy, too. They know how much I want to be warm, and they're just toying with me.

Kim said...

Martha, you crack me up.

Amy said...

Yea! A new post!

Love that you changed your top after the men's room incident!

OK...I never grocery shop at SuperTarget because they are always out of stock. I heart target but they really need to work on their grocery model.

Suzy said...

Martha, you are, by far, the funniest human being on this planet. Thankyou for your existence.

SeaWorthy said...

Im with Suzy, best in total existance..TOTAL..

Me, I cannot bitch about Target, my nearest one is 60 miles away, and its a pure treat when I get to go..

Mens bathroom....excellent laugh, coffee snorting..Thanks.. sweet little fartster, are a ray of sunshine when you post!!

from your ol buddy out here at the very gloomy dark windy rainy wet

Janet said...

Sounds like a fun time was had by all!

jilly said...

It really does take these moments for us to appreciate the good ones! GOOD stuff!

Karen said...

The last time I came home from shopping -- aggravated as all get out -- I actually did some research on empty-shelf-syndrome and found that it is not an uncommon condition in a recession. People just aren't buying as much and so stores don't order as much.

Combine that with a deliberate time-tested marketing strategy of creating demand by understocking and it pretty much sucks for the consumer.

Stephanie said...

Hahahahahahaha - I LOVE that you changed out of your sweater! If only you'd packed a turtleneck, no one would have ever seen your midwestern neck. :)

WhitneyB99 said...

I just wanted to let you know that Bloggy Blog Designz is having another giveaway! Here is what we are giving away:

A Basic Package

A $40 Giftcard

A $30 Giftcard

A $20 Giftcard

55% off Any Package

45% off Any Package

See our site for details!

Thirkellgirl said...

I totally sympathize with your Target rant (now that you mention it they *don't ever have socks...) but I want to see your Christmas decorations. Or cookies. Or something. :)I just spent three hours cleaning the bathroom within an inch of its life, arranging doodads on the little shelf above the toilet, and admiring the holiday Kleenex box I opened to celebrate cleaning. You can *see I need something, Martha!

Ann said...

Where have you been? I left you something on my blog.

Kathy said...

I have an interior design site and I am interested in purchasing a link on your website. Your site looks great and I would love to be part of your blogroll. Or, if you prefer we could exchange links.

If this is possible, could you let me know how much you would charge for a basic text link. My site is located at

Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing back from you.

Amongst The Oaks said...

Hi Martha,
How's things? Been missing your awesom humor! Happy Christmas,

Amongst The Oaks said...

Bet you been missing my ausum spelinj too.

Laurie said...

Dear Martha,
I miss your posts!!!