Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The "Lady" On The Plane and Other Nonesense

I'm loud.

MJ is not.

I don't mean to be loud, but sometimes I am. And since I'm getting to be an old hag - oops! -I mean lady - my hearing probably isn't what it used to be.

Just a little background for you. Because MJ and I got scolded on the plane.

When we got on the plane, there was a woman already sitting in the aisle seat of our row, loudly talking on her cell phone. She looked a little irritated when we needed her to move so we could take our seats. We were sitting right next to each other - MJ in the middle of the row and me next to the window.

So, since I haven't seen MJ in forever, we chatted the whole time. Not loudly (I don't think, though I guess I'm wrong.) - we were sitting right next to each other. And we always have plenty to talk about.

About midway through the flight, the "lady" sitting in the aisle seat said, "Are you two going to talk the whole flight? Because I'm trying to sleep and the plane is full and I can't change seats - I've already asked."

MJ and I looked at her with our mouths hanging open. We were totally speechless (for once). Then I glanced at her iPod earbuds thinking, "Turn up the iPod, then, sister!" Well, she saw that look and read my mind and said, "I can even hear you through my iPod."

So MJ and I were embarrassed and we were somewhat quiet through the rest of the flight, but then we just started chatting again. You know why?

Because a plane is not a hotel room. It's a form of MASS TRANSPORTATION.

And we're not responsible for her not getting enough sleep the night before and forgetting to take her much-needed antidepressant (and for not washing her greasy hair. But I won't get into that here.).

And you know what? People talk on planes. And children cry. And people smell. That's the way it is.

Anyway, as people were smushed together trying to disembark the plane at the end of the flight, the "lady" was standing up at her seat and so was the guy across the aisle from her. The guy had his hand resting on the headrest of the seat in front of the "lady". Well, the "lady" didn't like this at all. She grabbed his hand and moved it from the seat!!!!

That made us feel a little better. Because maybe it was just her being a bee-otch, and not just us being loud.

So, then MJ and I went to get our car - which was not reserved due to a scheduling snafu. Well, apparently there weren't any cars available.

Because it was Graduation Weekend in Boston. And you know? Boston has some colleges. And people come from all over to see their loved one graduate. And they usually need a car. To get around.

So as we were waiting for the agent at the car rental place to help us (bail us out), we told her about the awful "lady" on the plane.

And she gave us a black Mustang convertible.

Just to be nice.


Lisa said...

whoooo hoooo!!!! Where are the photos???? Id love to see the awesome blowy hair shots!! I know you have some.

You also should have taken a photo of bitchy lady and posted it, too. ARent people strange? AS IF!!!! I wonder if she has any children, think about their poor lives.

Did you two do ANY work?? I really would like to hear about it.

TattingChic said...

That is hilarious. You know, I used to work at a psychiatric hospital and I learned that it is the sickest people who are the rudest and that when they are rude it's ALWAYS about them it's NOT about you. Glad you got a convertible mustang to drive around, HOW FUN!

The Garage Gourmet said...

From the GG's favorite movie:

Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
- Spinal Tap (1984)

Michelle said...

Don't you just love karma? That crazy bee-otch with unwashed hair probably got stuck with a Peel P50 (Top Gear). Good for you and MJ for not shutting up the rest of the flight. You're dead on--it's mass transportation! (That was my exact indignant response in my head when I read that she was trying to sleep. And I think my mouth was hanging open, too.) Sometimes I need to be reminded to use my "indoor voice", too, but Tattingchic is dead on--this was totally about her issues.

I want pictures of wind-blown hair, too!

Cutzi said...

HA HA!! Wouldn't she have died if you had pulled out your camera and said, "Oh. Don't worry. It's for my blog..."

jilly said...

YES! It is all about Karma baby! That is AWESOME!

Amtrack has quiet cars, no cell, no talking, but planes can't do that. Do you know what I would have done, I would have told her to deal with it. You didn't ask to sit next to her. On our way to Vegas there were a group of women just whoopin it up, Scott's sister and brother in law got stuck right in the middle of them, I was hungover because I thought I would start my vacation early, but did any of us complain, heck no, you just roll with it. BTW SHE is the hag!

Jen@The Cottage Nest said...

I love a story with a happy ending. Thanks for the chuckle!


thanks for you sweet comment today! give your Mom a extra hug the next time you see her! I hope it was warm enough to drive around with the top down in Boston....

MJ said...



Lisa said...


get a blog!!!!
Sista, loud and proud is a way of life around here. comeon!!!
Michelle, you TOOOO!!!

Thirkellgirl said...

Yay, you're back! Stop toying with my emotions like this, Martha. Love the Boston photos (my hometown was 20 miles sw of there).

Sarah said...

What a beeotch! Some people are unbelievable! I am glad you and MJ continued to chat chat chat. I hope you took some convertible shots...

restyled home said...

I think next time you fly, you should pack yourself a good, garlicky sandwich to pull out when you get stuck with a "princess" like that!! Then, just point and breathe...and see if she can sleep through THAT!!

I'm PMS-ing...what can I say!!

Glad you're back!!

Amy said...

Martha, are you holding back on us??? Let's see a pic of you and MJ cruisin' the Freedom Trail in that car!

Janet said...

I am sure the "lady" was not from Boston, probably just visiting from some very quiet, but very rude place!!


Martha said...

Awww guys.

You KNOW I can't be trusted to bring a camera. MJ and I got on the plane and realized we both forgot our cameras.

Now that I look back though, there were so many photo opportunities. The Plane Lady. The Avis Lady. Us trying to find where the hell we "pahked the cah". All of the Bostonians coming to our rescue everytime we pulled out our map. The guy who tried to get money from us and sweet MJ listened to his whole story while I walked away. Apparantly Buffalo, MN doesn't have many pan-handlers and MJ just really couldn't get him out of her head. Every once in a while she'd wistfully say, "I sure hope he got his eight dollars....."

We should ALL go on a trip together!


Mim said...

Been reading you awhile. You are hilarious.But the Plane Lady says it all doesn't it.
The crowds, the waiting, the pushing.
Last wk when I flew the lady in front of me seemed to shake her seat the whole time.Pushing backwards, bouncing,etc. urghghhg.
Now did you hear the AA is charging 15$ bag to check?What?
Oh well. Sounds like you get to/have to travel some for work.
Thanks for the laughs.

Lisa said...

I absolutely CANNOT believe you didnt bring a CAMERA, MArty girl.
WHAT KIND OF FRICKING FRACKING BLOGGER ARE YOU?? How are we suppose to live vicariously through you on your road trips if you dont bring the Farking camera?
I bet you wasted all your "film" on Ted Kennedy.
(btw, why do I always have to to word verication 3 or 4 times to get it right?)
wlzikxiu??? Truly cant blogger just give us 4 random letters instead of 8.

MJ said...


I do have a little blog. I don't post very often (OK I've only posted 3 times--I just started) and I'm not nearly as funny as Mart.

Martha said...



Ummmmm.....no you DID NOT start a blog without telling me. Where do we find it?

Okay.....and now I need to go into the office. I'd better have an address when I get home.

And I mean it, MJ.