Yep. I have a new Personal Trainer.
Her name is Kim.
Okay, fine.
I've never actually met her. But I feel like I have. Because I see her every day.
My sister Dawn just gave me her new DVD called Small Changes=Big Benefits. Dawn actually DOES know her - they've been friends for years. And Dawn's been using the DVD and has totally toned up.
Here's Kim's schtick: the fitness industry is a money-making business. Kim says it takes much less time and effort to get fit than everyone in the fitness industry is telling us. We can do it at home with a balance ball and one of those tube-thingies - no expensive gym membership required. (Unless you're talking Jazzercise - then by all means......There's this nice little studio in Washington State I've heard about....awesome owner. You should join that place. Even if you're out of state ;)
So Kim made this DVD with four 10-minute workout segments. You pick one of them a day PLUS the stretching segment and you're done. The workouts are uncomplicated, but challenging. I've been doing the Ball Strength workout and it's making me feel great. I actually look forward to it, even though I can't do a couple of the exercises very well....the tricep push-up is killer.
Here's Kim's other schtick: Quit feeling guilty. It's paralyzing and detrimental to your well-being. It makes you feel out of control, so stop it. And further more? Quit beating yourself up. No good comes of that. If you've messed up? Just. Move. On.
So.
There it is.
You know I'm trying to make changes in my life. I don't like the way I look. And it's all because of my lack of exercise. I feel guilty. I beat myself up because before I met Zuddy I was quite the exerciser. Every day. Without fail. And now? Not so much. And oddly enough? I don't even realize I beat myself up about it most of the time! I have so far to go to get back to where I want to be that it's just too much.
But guess what? I can do ten minutes of strength exercises from Kim's video and I feel GREAT. I can do it while Noodle is with me.....she loves to watch, give me a drink of water and cheer me on. Best of all, it just makes me feel good. I almost don't care about losing weight. I really just want to keep getting stronger.
So! I'm giving away 2 of her DVDs. Because I love it so freakin' much! It just makes me feel happy. I really think you will love it to - even if you're already fit. It makes you feel great.
Now.
What do you need to do for this contest? I'm not sure yet.
I'm trying to think of something entertaining.......something that will make us all feel good.
How about this:
Go into the comment section and share your most embarrassing moment. Or the funniest thing that's happened to you or a loved one lately. Maybe it's something your child said? You know - just something funny and entertaining.
The funniest TWO stories EACH win a DVD featuring your new trainer, Kim.
I'm hoping to have an entertaining moment or two myself tonight: Neighbor Pam and I are going on a ride-along with Officer McHott tonight. That means we will be riding along with him in his squad car while he's on patrol tonight. Do you ever remember me talking about Officer McHott? Total freakin' eye candy for Pam and me. I'll take pictures of the fine officer.
Have a great day, friends :)
18 comments:
What a fun post! A most recent embarrassing moment that happened to a friend of mine that attends a large mega church. She had gone to the bathroom and went to return to her seat. She was sitting in the riser section and was sitting near the top Well you may have guessed, once she returned to her seat her friend sitting next to her alerted her to the fact that her skirt was tucked inside of her skirt!! She was not wearing hose but thankfully was wearing underwear! HA! She said it was the first time she was thankful that she wears granny panties! Boy was her face red!
Thanks for the chance to win as I am in desperate need of a different workout, mine is getting old and stale!
Thanks
Sue
marklovessue@numail.org
How about what happened -just last night!
Went out for chineese with family and mom and dad.
Middle boy, antsy, sitting by good ol bv, decided he wanted a bite of Gmas shrimp and HOT mustard. Just grabbed it before I could even get my hand up-shoved it in his mouth. then the best/worst thing happened, a FULL ON faucet vomit. You know the kind. open mouth and just blew- ALL OVER THE TABLE,VILLA, ECT..
well, you know me..all I could do was laugh. Villa was in mortification mode, parents were in awe, other little people started gagging. all I could do was tell other littles to look up! look up!dont look at the faucet mouth. I totally got in trouble from bob, you know, because I was sitting all the way on the other side of the booth, and on the inside. you know how huge those chinese booths are, there were all 4 of my peeps on the opposite side of me and I was next to mom on the inside, waaaay away from the whole scene. BUt you know it was my fault I didnt grab the shrimp. Hell, I couldnt even reach the plate it was on, it was in front of VILLA!! Lord, I dont think we will go to that restaurant for a while, or at least until middleman is in Jr Hi. We (me) recovered nicely, tho.Asked for a roll of paper towels and a to go sack, filled her up with the mess, then I left $20 for a tip, hoping the poor high schooling waitress would forgive my sweet boy.
Maybe you had to be there, but- it was really funny in that kind of sick, pukey way.
That will teach me to eat chineese, I should be staying home excercising with Kim!
ps--
#1)did I say I am happy your back? I also cannot wait for the next post of Mc Hott and your adventure tonight. Im sure youll have an "experience" DONT FORGET THE CAMERA.
#2)What happened to MJ and her blog?
this is very odd, my word verification -almost- looks like SHRIMP!! shjimmpk.
are you mocking me????
Oh you guys......I can tell I'm going to have a heckuva time picking the winners for this giveaway!!!!!
Both of these stories have me cringing and laughing at the same time!!!
Thanks to Sue and Lisa for playing so far! Keep the stories coming!!
Lisa? I wasn't mocking you, but the blog must've been :) And don't worry....the camera battery is getting all charged up right now :) I heard MJ is having technical difficulties and doesn't have time to fix it right now. I heard that from a third party this morning.
xoxox,
martha
Oh hell ya. I am loving this. I got one for you.
Me. A junior in college. Monday morning. Heading to class an hour away down in Mankato. Todd and I were dating. I was a jealous girlfriend, kind of the spying type too (shhhh don't tell anyone). I am rolling in my mom's brand new Camry. It has 300 miles on it.
I drive by the place where Todd lives to spy on the haps. As I am doing my driveby, I REAR end an old couple in a wood paneled station wagon doing 30mph. NO friggin lie.
The worst part??? Todd is at the end of the driveway with about 3-4 of his buddies getting ready to go to work (siding) and they witness the whole thing.
The whole thing!!! I am bawling and they ALL come running to see what happens. How embarassing,
Air bag goes off, elderly station wagon drivers are yelling in German at me, Todd and the whole world know I am doing a driveby, and I total my mom's new car.
No one hurt - thank goodness, then it would not be a funny story. I still blush thinking about it. He still married my spying ass though....phew!
How's that one for you Martha???
Oh and LISA?!?!?! I am so glad you were at that table and NOT me! Grossssss!
Oh Sarah!
I LURVE that one!!!
I gotta tell you all.....I can just see all of these happening to ME!
xoxox,
mvz
I'm going to enjoy all these stories. I will have to keep checking back so I can read them all.
I actually have 2 funny stories (I think I'm sort of a magnet for embarrassment).
1. I was at the symphony for a lovely, sophisticated date with my husband and it was intermission. We were browsing at the gift shop and then it was time to go back so I took his hand and started walking along, only to realize I was walking along with some other guy - he was pretty amused and I felt like I was 5 years old.
2. We were at the fall fair at my oldest son's university residence and we had to wear name tags. While I was writing mine I looked over at my husband's and noticed that he had written his name and then underneath "Matthew's father". I thought that looked like a good idea so I wrote my name and "Matthew's father" as well. Nobody noticed so I walked around all day looking like a goof.
I would love to find an exercise tape that worked for me so count me in on your give away. I love your blog, by the way - very funny!
cheers,
Blueberry,
bristolbayfield@gmail.com
Oh... the DVD aka Personal Trainer sounds GREAT! I need me some of that!
Ok... really... do I need to tell my embarresing moment? Well I guess I do...
I got stuck in a GAP shirt. Yes. In the store. In the dressing room. By myself. With no one to help me. I had to go out to the check-out counter - while people were listening to me tell the clerk that I was SERIOUSLY stuck in this shirt - as they were waiting to check out. Quit laughing! I'm DEAD SERIOUS! One of them came in to help me. She couldn't get the FREAKIN' zipper undone either. So she called for back up. Seriously. I had two clerks working on me. After EXTREME perspiration and SEVERAL minutes later... they got the scissors. They cut the sucker off!
Needless to say... I did NOT buy that shirt.
:o) There I told ya... I'm not proud... but I did it! :o)
Smiles!
Jen
HA! I love these stories. I think I am seriously suffering from my brain. I have an embarrassing story on the tip of my tongue/brain - like one that I remember saying to Justin, "that was my most embarrassing moment ever!"... but I can't remember what it is! I'm know, I'm a goof.
The work outs look great! Really - good job Martha. I think I have enough workouts on my plate as it is though - I'll let somebody else win this time! ;-)
OH!! And how could I forget??? Thanks for the Jazzercise shout-out. You rock. And you make me laugh.
hee hee - how's that for an embarrassing moment? That's supposed to say "mom brain". I told you! Why doesn't dang blogger allow you to edit your comments??? Grrrr.
Marty, even tho I think MY story is rockin, but POOR JEN!! I ammmmmm mortified for her!!!! that, my dear jen, would make me totally have a panic attack. Id probably run out of the store with the shirt on.
TOOOOO FUNNNNNYY@!!!!!
Lisa
coastal nest
Oh the pressure!! I simply cannot be funny on demand! Plus..I murder funny stories. I kill the delivery every time!!
I do have a few embarrassing stories, though. And yes, I'll probably mutilate telling them, too! But I really want that video...on account of my being such a fitness buff now...a real marathon runner of sorts...!
Anyway, the most recent involved my daughter. She was asked by her teacher what HER most embarrassing moment was (she is seven) and she declared, "It is when my mummy spits on my face in the mall!!""
Well, what she meant to say, was when I spit on a hanky and clean her face (which is perfectly normal, right?). Well, let's hope her teacher got the gist of it...
The second was when I was a nursing student back in the early nineties. I was to observe my first real surgery and I dutifully got all the proper garb on. It was a long operation and my feet were really starting to kill me. I wondered how the doctors and nurses stood on their BARE feet all day?! You see, I had taken those shoe covers and worn them as slippers!! The doctors and nurses were all wearing them the right way! It certainly explained all the funny glances at my feet by the nurses...!!
The third (oh, there's more all right) involved taking my young sons to the movie store where, coincidentally, my eldest (then five) passed gas ever so silently and deadly. Suddenly my three year old appeared at my side and loudly announced, "Mummy, you smell like egg!!" Never have I wanted to put two little boys into a head lock as much as I did then...!!!
That's the best I can do!!
Linda
OH YAH!!!! Justin and I are sitting here on the couch laughing at your funny blog. I read him my comment and he's like, "Oh yah! You don't remember your most embarrassing moment?" -Nope- It's when you (we) left your underwear in your Aunt Ginny's bed when we were on vacation....
Oh yah... maybe it would have been better to not remember the forgotten souvenir of our little rendezvous in my 80 year old great aunt's bed....
I will win this, HANDS DOWN...wait until you read this.....
Several years ago, while at another job, I was in a rush to get out the door & grabbed the last pair of underwear in my drawer. You know, the ones that you only wear when you have.got.to.do.laundry. When I got to the office & started walking from my car to the building, I realized that the elastic that held them up was not up to par. They started to slip down. I was wearing a skirt. Uh huh. There was a woman behind me & I paused & said something about how my "slip" was showing, hoping to cover up that it was actually my panties that I was hiking up. I continued into the building, into the lobby, where they fell to my knees!!! I didn't know what to do (there were a lot of people coming into work at the same time), so I sort of backed into a corner & covered up my "situation" with a purse until I spied a female co-worker. I demanded that she come over & stand in front of me not only until I hiked up my underwear, but until I could hobble to the rest room, where I removed them entirely. Lest I go commando the entire day, I went into the office long enough to tell my co-workers that I had to run to Target to pick up an important prescription & I'd be right back (ie, get some emergency undies!). I can tell you that my co-worker who "hid" me NEVER let me live it down.
And, because its me, I have another one as well. Blueberry, you think that holding hands with the wrong guy is embarrassing, how about grabbing the wrong guy's a**??? Uh huh. I was at a party with my now husband & had a few drinks. I went over to my husband & put my hand on his rear, sort of just leaving it there. Only after a good minute or so did I look over & realize that it was one of our friends, not my husband! When I asked him why he didn't say anything, he said "who was I to argue with a woman who wants to grab my butt?" HA!
OMG! KIM!!! I almost peed myself reading about your unders! LOL Totally slipping down the legs, I have a pair like that, but I wore JEANS with em! A skirt! OMG! LOL!
Martha--- she HAS to win. HAS TO!
Lets see, something funny. I remember last year during corporate challenge I decided to wear my fitness skirt( with shorts underneath) Well, I was in the tug of war. My skirt was black and the only bike shorts I could find were white. Needless to say, I fell on my butt and flashed the whole world. Everyone thought I just had on undies, so it was pretty embarising for me.
OK, Here's my story...
Once upon a time in my younger days I lived in Chicago. My co-worker Dan invited me out on his cousin's boat on Lake Michigan. Not a date...we were always just friends. So, there are about 10 people on this nice sized speedboat cruising along the lakeshore enjoying a warm summer night and some (many?) cocktails. Of the 10, I only knew Dan, and there was only one other woman on the boat. Luckily the other woman was married so that left me as the only single girl for the sizzlin' hot Marine guy to chat with. Of course after having some (or many) cocktails, nature calls. Easy for the men...they just pee over the side of the boat. The other gal and I finally couldn't hold it any longer. We asked all the men to stand at the front of the boat. We went to the back of the boat so we could pee over the edge...in mid stream I felt myself slipping off the boat...what to do??? Call for help with my bare bottom up in the air? The hot guy, my co-worker, random other people staring at my private area. No sirree...So I flipped over the boat and into the water...ha, ha, ha, I laughed very funny...until I realized that my shorts and underwear had just slipped off from around my ankles and into the depths of Lake Michigan.
To make things even worse...I had left my purse in the car and only took my keys...which were in my pocket...now at the bottom of the lake.
Thankfully the boat driver had a towel I could wrap around my bare bottom. Of course that looked a little silly when I had to track down my landlord at a BAR in order to get into my apartment that night!
All that and I didn't even get a date with the hot guy.
OK..I know this is over, but I feel duty bound to tell my story. And yes, thanks for your concern, I can't figure out what I did to my *$^@*&^$&*# blog account and I've been working like a crazy woman. Catered a cool canoeing picnic fund raiser. Catered a home smoked pork dinner for 175 last Sunday--flew to NYC for a food editor's event on Tuesday. A friend of mine is in the hospital so I met with her daughter to plan her graduation party for next Sat. which I will cater. Planned the dessert buffet for a big ol' fundraiser at our governor's place next Thursday. And planned for a sustainable farming and bullseye locally produced berry and basil smoothie give away for 700 people next Saturday. Sorry if that's too much info.
Anyway..... the story. Time heals the pain and leaves the funny.
I got my first T-shirt bra last year. It was soooo comfy with great support, no show through.... I loved it so much I emailed my husband all about it. Typical silly husband/wife naughtiness. I'll let your fertile imaginations fill in the blanks.
So I send it off, giggling a little.
My husband goes by his middle name. He does this because he is FMM IV (the fourth). That means his father, my father-in-law, has the same name. Yes, you guessed it. I sent my naughty bra story to him by mistake.
I got an email back saying he thought perhaps this note wasn't meant for him.
AAAHRG!
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