Dear Guy On The Plane,
Wow - seriously? 3 Jack and Cokes in a row at 9am?
Hey - I've been known to get my "drink on" once in a while. And believe you me - I'm not exactly subtle when I do it. Sometimes it involves a night worshipping the porcelain God.
I'm at a party.
Socializing - you know.
Not on my way to a business meeting across the country and drinking myself into a stupor in First Class.
Well - you weren't totally alone. I was sitting there right behind you judging you.
Good luck and I'm here if you need me,
Dear Guy at the Airport,
Wow. Really? How do I explain you to my friends in blogland?
Okay. First of all - I didn't even see you. My co-worker Scott did. He was so excited to point you out to me that I think he broke out into an actual jog to meet me when he saw me come down the concourse to our gate.
First, he explained that he saw you at the security checkpoint.
With your pants completely unfastened.
I think that tipped him off to keep on watching that freak show you've got goin' on there. Scott doesn't normally use the word 'flamboyant'? But it really seemed to be the right fit when describing you, because you are no shrinking violet - oh no you aren't.
And - that HAIR! How do you do that? It's like Richard Simmons on acid! You can't just wake up like that - you have to be working at that look. That's an achievement, you know what I'm sayin'? Good work on the hot pink noise cancelling headphones, too. I can't think of a better way to top it all off up there, buddy.
How about that belly shirt? Dude.....not okay. I mean, where do you even get one of those? It was all wrong with the pants. But when you took the pants off to reveal the shorts, it really seemed to pull it all together. Good for you.
Except it's, like, 10 degrees here. So........yyeeah. Maybe shoulda kept the pants on.
Hey - keep on keepin' on, mister.